E64 Honi & Michael: How To Embody Identity Change Gracefully Individually & In A Relationship: Do's & Don't

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We talk through the messy middle of identity change and why losing an old role can be a sign of spiritual growth, not failure. We share how we navigate it as a couple, how menopause can intensify the process, and what helps us stay anchored in God while the new self takes shape. 

• identity change as shedding labels and returning to our divine design 
• the in-between state and why it feels like fog, irritation, grief, and resistance 
• how external validation and ego programming keep old identities in place 
• early signs of a shift like losing passion, energy, and tolerance for old routines 
• fear, comfort, and the challenge of trusting the unknown 
• how we handle identity change inside a relationship without personalizing it 
• empathy vs sympathetic entanglement and moving from codependency to co-interdependence 
• practical tools that help us: prayer, journaling, naming fears, and repeating truth 
• somatic support through movement, bodywork, and letting emotions move out 
• a do and don’t list: don’t make big decisions in the fog, don’t trauma bond, don’t attack yourself 
• mentorship support and our Belief Thought Emotion Self-Mastery course 

Please, if you found value in this episode, please share it with others if they're going through identity change. 
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Transcript

Welcome And The Core Theme

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Blessings and welcome to the Essential Alchemist Podcast. It's your host, Reverend Honey Borden and Michael here.

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Welcome everyone. We're so grateful to have you on our joint episode where He and I are so excited to once again be together and just share the raw, authentic, and real in person.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Exactly. And this this podcast is always about helping you embody your divine design as we are embodying our divine design. That remarkable gift that God Almighty placed in us that seated us so that we can bring that into this beautiful plane of earth. And the walk through it is kind of messy. And there's a lot that certainly takes place, and you're part of our community where we get to share these things. And today's a very special episode that we, Michael, and I both feel is very important to talk about it. And this this episode is about identity change and how do we truly navigate through it, especially when you're a couple, you're in a relationship dynamic like we are, and we truly believe what we want to share with you in this raw, authentic way is really going to inspire you, uplift you, and also for you to have takeaways because we have navigated this a few times and we were in it again. So we have a lot of goodies to share with you. So thank you. Make sure you stay till the end because it's going to be a full-packed episode.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

I feel, you know, many people are moving through this right now where there's a shift of who we thought we are and what we really are. And as these layers and as these parts of us, let's just say, move out of our way, it doesn't always provide the ease and grace as we may think it is, because sometimes it can get messy. Sometimes we can see how it can become challenging, yet we realize in this beautiful ascension process, we're letting go of the old parts of us no longer serve us as we welcome what has always been within us, yet we're recognizing that process is very interesting, not only within ourselves, but within a relationship.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:26

Because I feel like it takes personal responsibility to really meet what I see within myself is what am I? Who am I, and what wants to be birthed through me versus the old identity that has really been surfaced through the ultra ego and what society has really programmed in, whether it's our career, our title, and everything that's been labeled in our story. And so as that story shifts, because we know there's something greater, that divine essence of our I am presence that's coming to the surface, then those old aspects of who we are no longer serve, and they have to go, like it or not, which they can easily hold on for quite a bit and cause all the wonderful shenanigans that we see. Definitely.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

I think we're gonna laugh through this quite a bit with all of you, because obviously, for those of you who are listening to our podcast right now, especially you're on this this particular episode, going through identity change is not something that's foreign to you. You've gone through it and you've gone through the experience of the excitement of it, what is how it's going to be displayed, and also the challenge that comes with it because you're in this in-between state. And this in-between state, how you navigate, is is quite a wonderment. And then, of course, the identity, let's let's break this down because this identity is associated with friendships, associated with the way you've been doing things, associated with your network, associated with your operating system, as the internal creates this, the internal rises in this change to take place, kind of like where we are right now. Like if we're we're in the month of April in here in the northern hemisphere. Like today is really cold. We see these amazing, gorgeous cherry blossoms out, and then it's this in-between state. Like it's not, it's too cold, you still have to wear a jacket, but here's this, and it's beautiful blue sky. You want to enjoy it, yet you're in this like mixed match because it seems like okay, I'm so ready for being the wonderful, beautiful, but it's cold. You don't want to bring the jacket, yet you still have the jacket, you're ready to release the jacket. So, how do you navigate that? And then some of the emotions that come with it, the frustrations, the irritation, the aggravation, and then also sometimes like this space of like you're it seems like as if your human is lost, right? Is in this fog and one can't see the direction. So a lot happens. And by itself is quite something. When we couple it with when we couple it in a partnership like you and I, when we're going together through it, and then on top of it, here's one of the partners that's also experiencing me on pause state, the menopause state, it is quite the journey, I have to say.

SPEAKER_02 5:54

And I would I would really want to break it down when we look at identity because of all these states, it's just to draw the awareness that majority of us have identified as from more of this exterior version of ourselves. Meaning, isn't it interesting that the way we were brought up, the way that we were conditioned, we looked at ourselves through the eyes of others, seeking external validation, seeking external support, seeking external security of who we really are.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

And but you know, can I ask you? Yeah, did you feel more like that? Because I want you to if I can ask, if you can speak about, because I don't know if everybody everybody can relate to that.

SPEAKER_02 6:41

I would just say it's a program that was brought into our world because if you look at the ego, the ego externalizes how we fit in, how we judge ourselves, how we bring our story through the lens of our outer version. And it's not just me, but it's the way the world, society, programming, and condition has equipped us with, because when we start to look inward to see who our true eternal nature is, there can be, like you said, this loss of like, wait a minute, I'm not my job. I'm not my emotions, I'm not my feelings, I'm not what is been labeled through my whole life. And it's this interesting dichotomy where the ego, it's interesting, it doesn't like change or comfort, but yet it sees itself from an external lens that's always changing, that's always moving in a direction that's shifting. And so there's this interesting phase of where we want to stay in a place, I would just say, of alignment internally, but somewhere that external distortion of who we are is changing quite a bit. And when we put all that view outside of ourselves, it's hard to stay, I would say, in that joy and happiness because thing because we can't control the external environment. And a lot of times change.

SPEAKER_00 8:11

I see it differently, Michael. Like I find like the the several times that I've gone through identity change, my attention has actually not been on the outside. My attention has been so inside that on the inside I'm changing. So because I'm on the inside changing, it hasn't taken full shape. So so what happens is on my outer perceived reality, things are beginning to also change. So there's it seems like there's this disruption taking place because of this internal change. Like for example, simply, like as the as I when I had my center, uh, it was so much, my identity was so much about my center, the clients, you know, the all the different ways that I was operating there and product line, speaker, all of that. So when I closed it and I shut everything down, then there wasn't the I wasn't I wasn't operating, I wasn't getting in the car going to the center, or I wasn't in the lab creating.

SPEAKER_02 9:14

So I was at-wasn't there that loss that hurt that.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

No, no, but no, so what I'm saying, on so what I'm saying on the inside of me, because first it happened on the inside of me. So then I wasn't then engaging in those activities. Because I wasn't engaging in those activities, so I and on the inside I knew that was not that wasn't me anymore, but I didn't know what was next. So it was it was it was really internal for me, you know. And of course, then the the habitual things and the way that you know, just getting things ready to go serve, like oh, like it seems like there was that loss because I wasn't I wasn't operating in the way that had become more habitual. So that's where I was I was making that distinction.

SPEAKER_02 10:07

Why I brought that up is because I would just say from a collective standpoint, from how we were brought into this world, is there was a story already happening before we came into here. There were already beliefs, there were already schooling, there was already universities, there was already a system set forth. And because that outer system has placed labels on who we are, that identity shift can be challenging because we were taught and educated to follow what society has taught us to be.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

For the ones that actually followed it.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

Okay, so let me just say sure, for ones followed it or didn't follow it, that was the standard that was set upon us to grow up. Now, when we break away from that and become our true identity, there is that breaking away of that belief of we look outward to see who we are versus looking inward. That was the point I was saying because the ego wants to look outward. We were taught to fit in, we were taught to do that. Not everyone, but I would say that's what the system or the collective or society or the standardization of this world taught us. And as we go through that identity shift, there becomes that loss of, well, who am I if I'm not my career, I'm not my job, I'm not my relationship, I'm not my friends, I'm not my feelings, I'm not my emotions. Okay, who I am, who am I really? Then there becomes there's that sticky in-between phase of then saying, Oh, I'm greater than what has been taught to me. There's a greater presence that I am presence that comes into fullness, yet it takes that great courage and strength and awareness to start seeing what's real within versus looking outward that I'm just saying myself and I feel what this world has initially taught us from a mental ego-based level, that now we're shifting what I feel into a heart-centered base.

Early Signs You Are Changing

SPEAKER_00 12:20

Okay. So let's just get to practical. Yeah. Let's just, for the purpose of this episode, let's just get practical. So identity change. We, you know, a lot of our listeners, I'm sure, have gone through identity change, and and and when somewhere on the inside, it seems like before the identity begins changing, something on the inside starts taking place, right? I would say one of the things is that you start losing your passion, you start losing the interest, you start finding like resistance in doing the way that you did. And it it seems like your energy is not going in that direction, and but on the inside, something else is is calling you in. So there's this pre- would you agree to that?

SPEAKER_02 13:09

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

Yeah. And then there's this almost like stagnation taking place. It's like not a forward motion. So so then on the inside, something, something usually takes place where on the inside, then there's a rise, like there's this rise of, okay, this is no longer me, but there's this other, there's there's this more truer part of me is coming in. So for our purpose, those of us who are connected with God Almighty, we know we're so committed and devoted to that true essence of the vision God Almighty has given to us. Or if we have seen it or may not have seen it, there's been a seed of this great vision that was seated in us when we were conceived, and there's a direction. Now, like you said, as those programs break down, we start coming more and more into the that true essence starts to get in touch. So that's what I'm talking about when there's that rise on the inside. When that rise comes, it's like, okay, so I literally can't touch this anymore. I literally can't give my energy to this anymore. I have to withdraw. And that's that's the really, really challenging part. What do you say has been the most challenging part in that for you on an individual level? I would say when you know you just can't go the way you were, because it's not anymore true.

SPEAKER_02 14:47

I would just say the familiarity of what has kept me and kept us comfortable shifts to where that no longer is comfortable because it feels like an old used hire. And after a while, there becomes the awareness that what I used to do I can't do anymore because there's something that's shifted or there's Well what what's the most difficult part about it for you, Michael? The difficult I think what I rec what I personally have experienced is I mean, I'll say it like a video game. It's like I feel personally I've come into a greater awareness about myself that the old routine of what I used to do, let's say the old thoughts, the old worries, the old fears, they there's no more, it's like for me, that energy no longer serves me. So the difficult part is leaving that area and going to my greater version. And the difficult part has been those old fears, those old habits, those old patterns don't want to release. They want to hold on to me in my old identity, so I can't move to the next level, but already I've accelerated to the next level and consciousness of like this is where I want to go. But the difficult part is those old pieces and patterns are hanging on for dear life to keep me in a state of comfort and old identity. So it's the process of not letting those pull on me as I move forward, and most importantly, trust the unknown that it's already happening and not let those old fears and energies combat me as I move forward.

SPEAKER_00 16:44

Yeah, that's a I'm sure our listeners can definitely relate to that. It is truly an art where where that new that new identity, often we've had the either the cognizance experience of it or the visual experience of it, the auditory. Somehow we receive, okay, this is the true essence of us. And there's usually it ties to some vision. It's like so much bigger and it feels amazing, it's exciting. Yet your current circumstance, all that is, there's no evidence of it whatsoever. And you still have to go about your day, but you're used to operating in this way. You're there's this for me, it's like this scrambling. Like, how do I how do I take the the right step that is part of this vision, which has to be new steps? And sometimes it's like, okay, well, you know, how do I become creative to discover the steps? It's like, I wish the steps were right in front of me, but I don't know where they are, you know. So that that I found to be challenging.

SPEAKER_02 17:52

Is that your most difficult part?

SPEAKER_00 17:54

Well, I feel that, and also for me, like because I'm inside the me on pause, the minute pause stage, because I'm up middle of the night every single night. So I'm up and then usually like drinking water or going to the restroom. And when I come back, then it's like all those old thoughts that you're talking about, they all want to creep in. So I have this internal battle where I'm calling God Almighty in, God Almighty, your truth is in me. You've shown me this vision. Here's this is the truth. So these are no no longer. And it seems like because that's a vulnerable place, it's like they all want to creep in to to have a strong hold over it. That I would say is my biggest challenge.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

Yeah, I it's it's interesting because I find, you know, we many of us are experiencing this.

Naming Fears And Trusting Unknown

SPEAKER_02 18:43

It's this, you know, this spring essence of rebirth, renewal, and resurrection. And I feel, you know, personally growing up in this beautiful world, the challenge is we haven't been taught how to let go of the attachments that we really, really enjoy that keeps us safe and comfortable. And I feel like when those attachments have embedded within our identity, then it's hard to pull away from who we think we are and accept new and familiar because that keeps us safe or that keeps us comfortable from who we are. For example, myself, there may be a pattern of like, I just wanna, I just want to continue doing the same thing, but growing and evolving, and taking that growing and evolving when I'm feeling like no, that that that part of me is has been done. You know, working hands-on, working one-on-one, working time for money, those pieces no longer are serving me because there's a greater version that wants to come out. Yet the safety and comfortable, like, well, I can just keep evolving that and keep doing the same thing, but working harder and getting more people and you know, being, you know, sacrificing time for money. Yet that doesn't work anymore because it's now saying, no, let all of that go and trust what you really want to do. And that requires what I would say to help move through those challenges, and I'll ask you what's helping move through your challenges is okay, what fears are holding me back to keep me, you know, they're keeping me in this comfort zone. What obstacles am I not trusting about myself to make that leap? And what's helped me is literally, okay, pointing out, making a list of those fears, getting comfortable with those fears, inviting them to the round table of love and saying, I gotta get to know you. I have to start to see, respect, honor, and look at you not as something that is controlling me, but look at me as something that has been always there, that has limited me from where I'm going next, because those fears have been really what's held me in that identity for so long. So just acknowledging those fears and bringing awareness of how those fears have created limitations, how those limitations have held me back in areas that have kept me from going into action. And so that's been an area for me. But when I look at it, so that's been for you.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

So it's interesting. So I've gone through several of these stages as in this 10 years, you have seen me. What I found when I have a super strong call, there's like a call or vision. You've seen me. I close the door, I shut it, shut all down, done, no problem. That actually I do very well with that in that space where that vision, that picture, that image, where I know on the inside it is finished, I finish it and I move forward. I do very well in that. What's different about this time is that. That vision is not as strong like the other calls that I've had. And and and I'm inside, like on a physical level, I'm inside this interesting minopeh state where my physical body is just going through so many different changes where the the challenge that I'm finding that's different because that's actually my strong suit that you've always said, I don't know how you can just close and move forward. I have no attachment. And this one, I still don't have attachment. However, what what is happening is the vision and the identity together with the monopause, I'm finding it to be much more challenging in being sustained and super clear that I'm finished with this chapter. I'm already finished, but the implementation has not taken place in structure, and that's where I'm having a challenge with.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

It's interesting. It's interesting because I feel each of us in going through this shift of identity, moving from a state of who we were, and when I say what we are, it's what we initially came into.

SPEAKER_02 23:35

There's so many phases of it. And what's worked for me is I really feel looking at what life is presenting at this moment and simplifying it so easily to see what's in flow and what's in resistance. And whatever's in resistance is showing me in a deeper level what I have not accepted at this specific moment of life.

SPEAKER_00 24:02

Like what do you mean? Use an example.

SPEAKER_02 24:04

So, for example, right now, like you, that I can resonate is I see my vision, I see where I'd like to be, I know that's there, but somewhere I'm not accepting the patience because somewhere I'm impatient. I want it now, and I feel like there's like this gap between where I where I am now and where I know where I'm going to be. But in between, there is that space of okay, the mind's still focusing on the hows, the where's, the whens, the whys, which I know that's not the mind. It's that's God's direction. That's what God's here to do, because we give the hows to the what, we give the hows and whys to God, yet there's that impatience, or what I recognize in springtime, there's that frustration and irritability, it's not moving fast enough, or I'm not, you know, I'm not where I would like to be. So sometimes that irritability, impatience, or resistance is coming up.

SPEAKER_00 25:12

I can't relate to that, and I'm sure our audience can definitely relate to that as well.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

And why I say that is because what happens if the irritability, impatience, and resistance, that's actually the piece that's coming up to be transformed, where all the golden nuggets of wisdom are there to get to the next phase, and that's why there's that gap, because that's the mastery of saying, Oh, what is that teaching me? And what is the gift of each of those resistance? Because once that resistance is cleared or transmuted, then it opens up more space to allow what's already coming through.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

So, like last week for three days, you were going through this stage. Yeah, right. So you were meeting these, and I know you were journaling, because I know that's that's something you do, that's something I do, where it's like, okay, taking, and it's always interesting in a relationship dynamic. Like last week, you were going through that.

SPEAKER_02 26:08

Last week I was I was going through a feeling where my consciousness felt like it's gone to another level. And if people can understand, maybe like the next level of a video game, the next level of objective, the next level of what is it. You don't know how to play that game. But well, not even that. You're you're there in that next level, but somewhere the mind's operating from the level underneath it. So underneath it are the insecurity spheres that are like, why are you thinking that level?

SPEAKER_00 26:40

You're you're well think of like Mario Brothers game. Like it's like that. You've you elevated to the next level, and as you come in, you don't really know how to operate at that next level video game. So you're like, you don't even know how to take, you just have to, you just have to take steps to discover it.

Identity Change Inside Partnership

SPEAKER_02 26:57

Or the Mario is like can't move forward because its tail is tucked to the last level. Right. And that and its tail's tucked to all the limited beliefs, conditions, fears that are like, well, you can't move forward because you have this, this, this. So it's like I'm here and I feel ready, but those old people or can't even move back. So it feels like I'm being tied back to some place that I can't, and all I want to do is take a machete and I could have, but it doesn't work that way. So those three days, I was like in this like funk of like almost like what you said today, like, what's the point of life? Why am I even doing this? Like questioning everything because there's the natural point of the ego that just wants to escape it all and just be like, F it and run, you know, and just say, you know what, I'm I'm done with all this, let me just go have some fun.

SPEAKER_00 27:45

So let's let's pause there for a second because again, in a relationship dynamic, I feel this is really valuable that we're sharing this with you. So we're in a conscious relationship. We both serve together, work together. Here we have our podcast together, we're in a relationship too. And and and the relationship also goes through identity change. So as Michael went through this, one of the things that we've discovered that helps is we recognize, like so we recognize when one is going through something to give that space. So last week Michael was like, I'm I'm a little funky. So he slept in the guest room. And I was very, very supportive because I knew, okay, he's going through this, no personalization, none of that. Just very, very supportive. And this is something that we have been able to do so much better. We we were definitely not operating this way in several years of our life because we couldn't understand what was happening. We had it, we had really trouble understanding it. And this is why we're sharing it with you now, because within the last year, we've been able to finally have this area under guidance that as Michael is going through two or three days of what he's moving through, I'll continue with mine. I'm supportive, loving, and kind, and and in the best way that I can be. And when it switches, like right now, I'm now this week experiencing. So he's loving, he's supportive, he's caring, so I can have my space, I can have the energy to go through what I need to go through. Because often, would you agree when we're in it and it feels like it's this funky state, we don't even have the language for it. So so if I ask you, if I ask you, Michael, what's wrong, there isn't actually anything wrong. No, you're just moving through, but to be able to articulate it is very, very difficult. So that space is important. And for you all listeners, it's important if your partner is going through it, just do not personalize and do not judge, and do not assume something is wrong. There isn't actually anything wrong. There's actually everything right with it, it's just the in-between state what transformation has to take place.

SPEAKER_02 30:11

And it's so important when that dynamic, whether it's in a relationship, whether you're working with someone closely, whether that component happens where one is low, it's always important for the other to be high. We recognize this.

SPEAKER_00 30:27

If one is Can you speak what you mean by low and high so our listeners are on the same page?

SPEAKER_02 30:32

So, for example, when last week I was feeling I was in a funk, it was very important for honey to stay uplifted in a high state of vibration, to stay.

SPEAKER_00 30:41

So you're in a funk mean that you were more withdrawn, you were more quiet, right? You were you weren't being disrespected, you weren't being mean, nothing. You're just more inward. So if someone's and like with just withdrawn.

SPEAKER_02 30:54

So if someone's, let's just say, vibration has dipped, yeah, and one's gone into a mode where they're not at their normal vibration, it's important for the other person to stay above that vibration. And what I mean by that is if I'm not feeling the happiest and most joyful, it's loving, it would be and maybe not not not intimate, not affectionate, not touching. But if a person can understand that from a compassionate, empathetic level and not personalize and judge it and realize how crucial it is to either stay at their baseline or higher, then both people aren't sinking. Like both people, like if like if one person's feeling horrible, then the other person's judging, well, you're feeling horrible. What's wrong with you? They start feeling it's like two heat-sinking missiles going down together versus one staying elevated so that that other person can stay where they are, but they don't have to go down with them.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

And when I say down this is very, very important.

SPEAKER_02 31:52

And when I say down, it's not like going down in a negative direction. I'm saying each and every individual is going to have an opportunity where if we look at like a normal EKG, our heart rate, where we're like we go up, we go down, we go up, we go down, highs and lows. When there's moments where we're not feeling our greatest, how important it is for the other individual to honor and respect that person, not feeling their greatest, but not add to it or not try to let's just say fix it, fix it, or make or or or try to go down with them. Because if the other person's up high, the other person is doing their work, if the other person's keeping elevating, then eventually that other individual will come back and then things start to move.

SPEAKER_00 32:39

But if it's the opposite, which we had done many times. So let's just so this is part of that being empathic and having sympathy. So this was with Michael and I, a lot of our a lot of our relationship was like this until we were able to finally change this in us. Because if Michael, for example, was experiencing it would translate inside of me, something is wrong. It would translate, uh oh, there's gonna be a problem. It would translate then, oh my gosh, I have to now move into my masculine, I have to save him, and then it would then it would throw my entire nervous system around, then I couldn't relax, and it would just cause all kinds of things, and vice versa as well. But yet Michael would always handle it better if I was going through through. So this was something that I had to change in myself. I had to change my belief system and to learn there isn't anything wrong. He has the right to go through his experience, I can remain where I am and not go into his emotions, his emotions are his, and he has to face them, and I don't need to rescue him or but I can just be supportive and loving without me being impacted, because for me a lot of it was I'm being negatively impacted, and that's what we changed around, thanks to changing our beliefs, our thoughts, our emotions that we did ourselves. Then we taught that whole year the belief, thought, emotion, self-mastery. That's why we taught it, because we we truly went through that transformation ourselves. And for those of you that are listening, this was a 14-module class that we taught based on what we were able to individually change inside of our inside of ourselves that change our relationship, and that's part of our course that's on our website. And we also post it on the bottom of the show notes so you can learn about it and go through it yourself.

SPEAKER_02 34:48

And I feel what's so important about this conversation as many are going through this identity shift. Those that are in relationships, those are going through independent, and those what can relate to honey and I is what Honey just expressed, especially in relationships, especially in those that have high sensitive, intuitive, empathetic levels where they can feel from another. What honey and I have definitely broken through this time period, and it's not been our relationship, it's been the standard relationship that's been modeled before us is codependency. And basically, in that identification of shifting, we naturally have been taught this. If one person feels bad, the other person feels bad. And that's beautiful when it's empathetic. But if we're in a sympathetic mode and we keep feeling bad, we keep feeling bad, again, no one's rising. When Honey and I have learned to shift our emotions, our thoughts, our beliefs, and realize what our God Almighty presence here to do, then we realize how important it is to be co-interdependent and to know that our source of joy, our source of happiness, our source of identity doesn't depend on the other individual or the real or the career or the outside family. It requires us to take that independence, that connection within ourselves so that we can feel the truth of who we are. And I feel that's the for me the greatest journey and lead that's helped me is to be like, wow, in this shift of identity, what happens if really it's all about strengthening and developing and mastering that relationship with the I am presence within ourselves, so then we know what our true identity is, and we can just release what isn't true and what hasn't been true that has been, you know, just say lineages that have been placed upon us to transform.

Prayer And Somatic Tools

SPEAKER_00 37:02

I fully agree, Mike what I feel so rich what you're talking about. I would add this part to it as well. When when we have been going through it, especially for those of us who are very caring, you know, there's this, there's this part, let me take on your emotions onto mine. That doesn't help anyone. And this takes quite a while to break free from it. So we have and a mother's instinct as well. Like I still battle with that when my sons are going through some things like, oh, not to feel it so much. So I've had to learn, okay, what are mine, what is my cause, what are my sons or my mom? I don't have to carry it and be able to have a very distinct, clear, clear understanding and not carry it on and not having to play the role of the savior, because God Almighty is their savior, not me. I can just do my part. So having said that, when when we're both going through this, it's been so important to be first be very honest, be raw, be vulnerable, be able to have the courage to say, hey, I'm going through this. My I'm not I'm not quite myself because I'm going through an internal change, like my internal system is changing again. I don't have the full language for it, or I don't have the articulation for it, or it seems like I'm inside this foggy space, and these emotions have come up, and these emotions are not mine. And what one of the things that has helped me when they come up, I say right away, these emotions are not who I am. They're just emotions that have come up because my identity is changing. And I always include God and I say, God Almighty, take these emotions, these are heavier emotions, you transmit them because your truth is me. These feelings are not mine, these emotions are not mine. Your truth, you said, and I always then say what God Almighty said about me. God Almighty, you said I am strong. God Almighty, you said I have perfect health. God Almighty, you said my days ahead are even better than the day that I'm experiencing now. So I go into what God Almighty said about me, and that becomes so crystal clear in me. So I can separate on the inside, okay, these emotions are part of this part of me that is leaving, and this other part of me that's already inside that is rising, is it wants to have like this kind of like a departing, departing, not a ceremony, but kind of like passing on, like well, well off, like like sending it's a sending off. Hey, sending off, I send you off with grace, I send you off with mercy and love, and I'm gonna open up space. So what I found, like I have to do body work. Um at the gym really helps being at the gym, increasing it has made such a huge difference while moving through this. Because I feel when you're when you're getting the worst thing is if you're just sitting and not in movement, you have to go in movement so this whole thing has moved out of your system.

SPEAKER_02 40:31

And I think it's important what Honey said because a lot of what we speak has been from a point of us being in a divine union. What Honey just spoke is so vital to listen to all the viewers, is when let's just say we're not in union, we're by ourselves, we're single, and we're going through it so harsh that we may not have anyone to express it to. We may not have that extra hand. Yet God Almighty is always there with you. And what Honey just said in recognizing that you're not here alone to do this, and you can give it to God, you can let it go, and you don't have to hold the barriers. And the second area, which I actually I do feel it could be a ceremony, a despot show, an event that you would say, okay, here's my old self that still wants to hold its identity. Here's the new self. They're on two different ships going in two different directions, but they're like tied by a rope that no one's going anywhere because somehow one's pulling one direction, one's pulling another direction, and all of a sudden it's like, how can I now let both go so that we're honoring the old past and honoring a new? And one example I would share for myself is, and you know this, last night, once again, I have these recurring dreams that I'm in Mexico. And once again, I'm out there surfing, and I'm out there surfing with my friends. But the joy of surfing is not there because either there's too many rocks or there's like the trail's too harsh. And so there's not this feeling of joy of what that old identity used to be, even though I love surfing, but it doesn't have to be in Mexico. It doesn't have to be that old identity of not being an American, living in more of what I thought was a liberated free state because I was kind of out of the system. That old identity is still pulling on me and is countlessly in my dreams. Yet there's a whole other identity that's excited with what Honey and I are here to do, with what each of us are doing independently. And so just by what listening to Honey, it's like, wow, can I now create a ceremony of just allowing both those identities to go into the directions they're supposed to let go of that old Mexican Miguel Sailita version of myself? It's there, I can always enjoy and reflect upon it, but honor the new direction of Michael and what is being brought forward. And I feel this direction and shift and change, I'd like to ask the viewer.

SPEAKER_00 43:03

It's like a blessing ceremony. Give a blessing ceremony to yourself. I love that. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 43:08

Just to give it a little more grace and ease because it's like an acceptance ceremony, right? Because you said something that's very important, honey, and I and I feel it's not just you. Yes, menopause accentuates it and goes to a high level of Michael. But yeah, menopause. I gotcha, I gotcha, I gotcha, I gotcha, I got you. But for those that are listening, and what Honey says, and I can relate so deeply, and I'm sure you can relate, is this internal battle within us really is an area I would have to say all of us have met one way or another, whether it's suffering, whether it's going through pain, whether it's going through illness, whether it's going through life changes. And you know, you said it so clearly that's like wow, this internal battle's happening. Happening, identity is changing. How can I move through that eternal battle, internal battle, sorry, in ease and grace where I no longer have to fight the battle, I no longer have to worry about how to win the battle. What happens if I just surrender the battle without losing, without giving power what the mind may think, but letting go of that resistance of that battle so that I can allow the natural peace of my God Almighty, the natural joy of my God Almighty, that just the natural presence that already knows the way, it's just now not engaging in that battle.

SPEAKER_00 44:43

Yeah, I feel that's really important. Like this morning I was crying with Michael. I was just sharing what was happening inside of me, and there are days that there are days that I do have that on this inside. It is this internal internal experience taking place, and I am speaking from God Almighty into this place, into existence of it. And I was sharing that like I I I I'm not interested in a fight in on the inside of me, and that's not where I'm going with it. Yet I'm aware of the conflict that is risen because of this internal change. So I keep bringing this acceptance of God Almighty's love, and I keep reminding on the inside of me, on the inside. So my physical body remembers this has already been done, I've already achieved it, I've already succeeded in it, the vision has already been completed, I don't need to worry about it. So my physical body relaxes. Now I haven't seen all the evidence of it yet, because the evidence is going to be grounded, embodied, becomes as a physical reality, it's on its way, yet hasn't happened yet. So I've I've removed my attention from how, because on the inside, it's like, well, it hasn't happened yet, but I give it no attention. I said, What you can't see it, it's already happened, it's on its way for you to see it. So then this part of me that wants to hold on, but it wants to hold on on my end, it just wants to make me feel safe. And one of the best quotes that I ever heard by Dr. Miles Monroe, he said, Your biggest enemy is your comfort. And I really, really, really, really grasp that.

SPEAKER_02 46:52

You know what just dawned upon me, honey, by you saying that? Because you were just talking about your physical body. Isn't it interesting when we just look at lens of consciousness? From the consciousness of your spiritual body to your etheric body to your emotional body, to your mental body, and physical body. And you just look at those lens of consciousness and where God enters each of them. And then the physical plane, consciousness is the last one. But here's interesting enough. When we look at time, the physical plane is the slowest, densest plane out of them all. So what just you just what you just shared is spiritually we know that it's come in. Now it's going through the bodies. Now, as it goes through the etheric, the emotional, the mental, the physical, they're all shifting, but in but the physical is the last body, the slowest body, the densest body. But what's so interesting on this human plane, it's the area that we've given the most attention because, like it or not, we're shifting, but the world and its attention has been physically focused, and this material world has gotten so much attention that it's like if we don't see it now, it's not happening. So it brings back the it's like pulling the veil back.

SPEAKER_00 48:13

Because that's where that impatient comes from.

SPEAKER_02 48:15

It's pulling that veil back and looking at saying, oh wow, if my physical body is the last aspect of me to shift, then I already know majority of my consciousness is already there. It's now having the patience, the trust, the faith that it's going to happen without the current circumstances needing that validation of what's happening. And it just dawned on me because it's like.

SPEAKER_00 48:41

Yeah, but see, I already like I have that, already know that's what I'm saying. My physical body to relax my physical body in so the physical body, when it doesn't have that evidence, it starts like you know, going into lack of trust, lack of safety, all of that. But I've been I've been training my physical body like it's all good, all relaxed, all right. And I see it in the vision. So it's now these steps. So that's why I was sharing with you like every day doing one thing brand new, one thing brand new to allow this brand new, it seems like brand new, but it's actually not. Because if you look at it, your future self was already given to you from the time you were born. So it's not you're already end product when you were born. So it isn't any of that, it's just the consciousness is catching up to it. And the physical body, as it sees the evidence, then it aligns in that embodiment. That's all it is.

SPEAKER_02 49:50

And what you did so well the other day was as we lighten the densities in the physical body, that space opens up. So as you went into recognizing some of the sadness, some of the grief that came up, and just crying it out, all of a sudden it felt better. So, what happens if now the awareness of shifting and changing our identity is you know, letting go of these old identities by expressing those parts in its natural freedom so that they can depart in that ceremonial way of like it's been expressed, it's been support, it's been loved. That opens up the lightness of our body, our light body, and then all of a sudden, then there's that shift that becomes a little easier and graceful without that battle happening. Because what happens if the battle is literally the old self, the new self, or the mental body trying to take control of over something that just naturally wants to feel safe, secure, and loved.

Do And Don’t During The Fog

SPEAKER_00 50:52

Yeah, that's it. So I feel to wrap this up, if you're going through this, first of all, you're not alone. Number two, God Almighty is with you. And one of the ways that I would say that has helped me every morning as I put my feet on the ground, I say, God Almighty, come into me, take over this body I'm take over all the activities, and you are in charge of me. The emotions that come up are not me. So that's something that can help you. Go, go for physical movement, massage, dancing, being able to that energy has to move out of your body, deep body work, somatic work, any of these is very important. Work with a mentor, work with one of us. This is the area that we probably are the best at because we've gone through it and and we know coming out of it also how incredible it is. But it's so important to be supported while nobody's feeling sorry for you, they're seeing you in your greater vision. Like I always remind Michael, I was like, Michael, while I'm going through this, remind me of that great vision that I am. That's very important. So you have that support. Very, very important. Get as much rest, journal, and if if you can't articulate, that too is okay. Maybe you can just give yourself permission to be able to be in a create creative way of expressing it. The keys, the few things, what are the not to do? Don't make decisions in this space.

SPEAKER_02 52:38

Don't don't judge, don't do it. Don't allow yourself to let the mind give the story to who you really are, and most importantly, don't beat yourself up and criticize you and turn against yourself for thinking that there's something wrong. Because what happens if this opportunity is the greatest opportunity to love yourself, and what I've seen in this opportunity is to really take that time that doesn't feel comfortable, add the greatest amount of comfort by seeing what you could do each day by honoring yourself the way God honors you, respect you the way God respects you, appreciate you the way God appreciates you, and most important, love you like the qu like the way God loves you, because in that loving energy, that divine love, unconditional love, to me that is like the essence that personally I've been practicing every single morning and come out so lit and energetic and feeling like this is the best day, that that's helped me move through even when by the afternoon it dips back in to come back and saying what honey reminded me today, this too shall pass. It is just a way that's going through.

SPEAKER_00 54:02

It's just like a thunderstorm. So be your own best friend. Thank you, Michael. Talk, talk for you, not against you. And remind yourself if on a day you wake up and it's just heavier, like I experienced today, remind yourself, hey, it's just a thunderstorm, it's passing through, it's gonna pass through, you know, it's always passed through, I'm always better on the other side of it. And and also do not do not emotionally make posts, you know, go on a rampage, or also go on this trauma bonding with others. I feel this is a very, very important because you there isn't anything wrong.

SPEAKER_01 54:48

You don't want to feed it.

SPEAKER_00 54:49

You don't you don't want to feed it, you want to bring love to it so it can relax. Anything else? Any other thing that they need they should know? We have like your do not list do and don'ts from our perspective.

SPEAKER_02 55:03

It's okay to vent and express it to others that can relate to it. When we say trauma bond, for those that that don't understand that, is don't make it greater than what it is. It's wonderful to resonate with others, but always what I feel, and this has been most important for me that's helped me the most, is however and whatever you can do to express it out of your body. Sometimes if it's so strong, so stuck, so embedded that it doesn't want to come out, the greater amount of impact. For example, if you have to go run yourself to the way that you need to run, if you have to go box it out, if you need to go jump rope, if you need to go on one of those machines that shake it out of you, if you need to go out and like, or from a gentle way, you want to go hug a tree, if you want to go walk in nature, any way that you feel that intensity is coming, what high and I've seen is a matched vibration of meeting that intensity can help it out. The rule of thumb is self-care, self-love, and accepting yourself. If there's one of the greatest rules I would say is like supporter friends, but really give yourself the ability to say, you know, it's okay not to feel okay because I'm just accepting. Once we accept that resistance, which is very challenging at times, then that resistance doesn't have the strength to keep battling because you've said, okay, you're there. I accept you. Now how can I move with you so that it can be released too?

SPEAKER_00 56:34

I love that. I love that. And the final part I want to say, what's so important going back to trauma bond, you have to be very careful in this part because a lot of time why I don't call friends and talk about it is because when you tell a friend, then they want to go to a story, and then they want to sometimes they feel bad about you, or they listen, or then they start bringing here you are, but they start bringing all their stuff in, and then it doesn't support you. This is why it's so important. Work with a mentor. The reason why Michael and I can do this for each other because we're advanced in our mentorship. We do this for others, so we know how to hold that space for each other without getting lost into each other. This is why we developed the whole program, the BTE, the Belief, Thought, Emotion, Self-Mastery. And this we highly, highly recommend to all of you if you need to go through, if you haven't been able to manage your emotions and your thoughts, this would be a game changer because that's what's given us the opportunity to be able to navigate this better. And we have presented it and we've made it available publicly, available is on our website under our courses. Or contact one of us or somebody else that's a professional mentor that can mentor you. The thing that is so important when I'm in this state, the last thing I want is a friend to try to feel sorry for me or pity me or anything like that. That is what I'm uninterested. I'm interested in somebody being loving, yet reminding me of who and what God Almighty said about me. That's my key. And to be so strong in that truth because I respond to truth. And I do that with Michael, Michael does that with me. So this is the part that I would leave, which I feel is very important.

SPEAKER_02 58:27

And I love someone that can be the best friend, best cheerleader, best personal trainer, and bringing their greatest optimism, their greatest cheer, their greatest ability to remind myself or remind the individual, which anyone's listening, is you have the power, you have the strength, and you have the infinite God Almighty within you that is standing right here to assist you. Always remembering that you're never alone, no matter how challenging the identity shift may be, no matter how difficult the area that you're moving through, there is an infinite source power, I am presence that's within that is there to take you through that just by giving the reins to God. I love it. And through God, everything is possible. And through God, everything is happening the way it is leading to you. Because within honey, we've recognized out of this, there's something much greater right behind it.

Mentorship And Final Sendoff

SPEAKER_00 59:29

Oh, we've always seen that, we've seen it over and over. So we're ex we're very excited for that while we navigated, and that's the mastery where you can navigate this knowing you're inside the change, knowing you're gonna come out of it. It's gonna be fantastic because God Almighty wants to express itself through you, and yet you're inside of it. You gotta be very compassionate, very loving towards yourself, and that's the key.

SPEAKER_02 59:57

So embrace the identity shift. Know that honey and I are here in every which way from private mentorship, from personalized transformational healing sessions. And what we recognize in this podcast is real, raw, and authentic journey that we feel grateful to share. And hopefully you feel grateful to share with others that can resonate to this because we know what's in front of us, and we know how many of you out there are going through this, and however we can be of that highest, wonderful, incredible service. We're so honored to be there.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:35

So please, if you found value in this episode, please share it with others if they're going through identity change. We're also going to share this podcast on our newsletter this week. So be sure you're on our newsletter. You can also forward that newsletter to others. The whole reason why we're raw and real with this, so you can also feel and know you're not alone. We too, as leaders in this, do go through it, and this is why we share it. There is nothing wrong. If anything, everything is right. This is part of the navigation of the earth, the earth experience, so that we can express the greater version that God Almighty has called in. So you're in a good place and keep on going, and we trust you have the big takeaways from this. And maybe we'll just post it on the bottom of the show notes so you can have a quick little reminder.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:32

Yeah, thank you all for joining this very deep, enlightening conversation. And honey, I very much look forward to when we can share this because I feel like we not only activate each other, but there bring there brings a special energy through us that can help many that are going through this identity shift.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:49

So happy identity to you. We're so excited to learn about your identity as you get to see ours coming up. And gorgeous, gorgeous week to you. Much love and thank you so much for being here with us. Many blessings to you all. Thank you. Have a gorgeous day. Bye bye.