E68 Honi & Michael: How Couples Recover From a Trigger Without Going to War

🌟 Be sure you are on our newsletter: https://tinyurl.com/y9brjc4v

🌟 Handle Triggers Gracefully with Your Beliefs & Thoughts Courses $

UPCOMING EVENTS: 

🌟"PROSPEROUS TRUE LIVING" Mentorship with HoniB & Michael on Wednesday 4/29 3pm EST) $  

🌟"CONSCIOUS EVOLVED MEN CIRCLE" FREE Monthly Event with Michael on Thursday 4/30 at 8pm EST) 

Even us ministers have our moments. And this one — we are bringing straight to you. Raw. Real. Unedited.

In this deeply honest episode, Rev. HoniB & Michael Abramson open the door wide into their sacred union — sharing a real conflict that happened just weeks ago, what went sideways, what was done completely differently this time and what God Almighty brought through when the human self wanted to go to war instead.

This is not a polished relationship episode. This is a living testimony. Two people in a God-ordained sacred partnership being completely transparent about the falls, the victories and what it actually looks like to bring heaven on earth through the most uncomfortable moments of your human experience.

In this episode:

• Why conflict in a purposeful sacred marriage is not failure — it is refinement
• The paddleboarding trigger that started a weeks-long unraveling
• The video request that became the perfect storm — and what broke open differently
• Why disengaging is not abandonment — it is an act of sovereignty and self-mastery
• The promise Rev. HoniB made to herself — and how God Almighty helped her keep it
• How calling God Almighty in immediately changed everything in her body
• Why Michael's victim pattern kept him looping — and the moment love dissolved it
• What true apology looks like versus saying sorry and repeating the cycle
• Michael's honest takeaway — call in God Almighty and close the mouth 💛
• The LIGHT Method applied in real time during conflict
• Breaking generational patterns of anger — turning a generational burden into a generational blessing
• The Belief Thought Emotion Self Mastery 14-module course — the roadmap behind this breakthrough
• The Inner Divine Union course — why the sacred marriage within must come first

With God Almighty, everything is possible. Even this. Especially this. 🌹

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Blessings and welcome to the Ascension Alchemist Podcast. This is Reverend Honey Borden.

SPEAKER_00 0:07

And this is Michael Abramson.

SPEAKER_02 0:09

We are welcoming you to this beautiful episode that is as always all about embodying your divine design. And today is a very special episode for us as we're coming together in our combination episode because it's a sensitive topic that we believe is very necessary to bring out in the most raw, real conversation. And we trust this is going to land in for those of you who are in a relationship, any relationship you have, whether you're in partnership or parent, child, or colleague, conflict is something that happens as well as trigger is something that happens. But for us, this is really to reach couples. When you are in a mission-oriented, focused, purpose relationship like ours, do conflicts happen? Yes. And what happens when a trigger happens, not just out of anywhere, but when one is, for whatever reason, is triggered and is acting from that trigger place and the disruption that happens, and how to actually handle it with God Almighty's grace. It's a tough one to navigate, and we're going to really talk about it because we just went through it, and there is something that we succeeded, which we're going to also talk about, but we're going to talk about the challenge that we had faced before, and we're just going to be very raw and open. So I'm very thankful that Michael is willing to talk about this because we truly believe it's going to help the listeners.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Thank you, honey, and welcome, all listeners. Thank you for tuning in. We know this is a very special broadcast, and we thank each of you for really listening from your hearts because what I really appreciate, what honey shared, is there's a constant awareness evolving and learning from the areas that come up within relationships, within when we meet conflict, or there's areas that start to make itself known. And I feel this is a very special one in a week that many of you felt just the more heavy densities that are coming through. And what I appreciate that Honey's taught me very deeply is showing that true authenticity really helps reveal the areas within that sometimes can hide. And with these conversations, I feel like there's a greater level of learning and awareness of when these areas that are maybe hard to talk about or challenging because normally society may see this as private, or why share this so openly? Because this is something that we weren't taught. Yet the pure rawness gives that what I see the vulnerability to express what we see as valuable resources, not only for us, but to share with so many others that are going through this.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

Exactly. So before we begin, again, this is sensitive because we are going to welcome you into our life as something we just navigated that was challenging. We talk about what we've done in the past that didn't work, caused a lot of hurt and pain between us, and and also the difference this time that I initiated something very different that did work. So we'll talk about and and how the because of God Almighty presence that was brought in, how the situation was handled with grace, whereas in the past it's caused like even more eruption and so many more challenges that came out of it. The purpose is to bring awareness, the purpose is to demonstrate there's a different way, the purpose is to share that even us as a couple, no, we don't have it all figured out. We are being given the opportunity to discover ways, and through God Almighty, there are absolutely more clear, beautiful ways that things can be handled. The last part of it is there's absolutely nothing wrong if you're in a purposeful relationship, in a sacred marriage like we are, you are gonna run into conflict. It is part of the part of it. What is important is to remember that it's part of what you're gonna experience. And the key is how you navigate it, and you're gonna have 10, 50 falls before you get it right. So that's why there's no shame and embarrassment talking about it. Whereas before a pie would have been more shameful and embarrassment talking about it, but now we are here to say there is no shame and embarrassment. We are here to walk each other home, so we're gonna be very open about it, and we truly believe this podcast is going to be a revolutionary for some of you that are in relationship, and it's going to settle very well in your heart. So let's begin.

Purposeful Love Still Meets Conflict

SPEAKER_00 5:51

Yeah. So where would you like to begin, Love?

SPEAKER_02 5:55

Thank you. So I I want to begin with this place. So Michael and I have we have an amazing dynamic with each other. We love spending time with each other, we do everything together, there's a lot of everything together, and we live together, we work, there are all kinds of things. So we we really enjoy each other's companies. Now, along the way, what happens sometimes is that sometimes, depending what's going on, and this is something that's been in the works, my core has truly grown out of it, yet still these things, there was a pattern in us that we could not break for the longest time. And it took us forever to have some breakthrough, and then it's been lingering. So we we finally came to this place that this lingering has resolved, which we're going to talk to you about.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

And I would even say from a lingering, I would say a refinement, because I would say, you know, in most relationships, or even one, as you said, with purpose, there becomes these phases of testing and mastery. And as we as I work individually, as honey work into individually in ourselves, there's moments where these situations come up and we revisit them, yet we revisit them in a different way than we've handled them before. That's true. And it's it's amazing to see that refinement, but also draw the deepest awareness of okay, what's happened, because honey and I are very passionate about not only growing from them, reflecting from them, but really seeing, okay, what was brought forward, how we can create the solutions from it and learn and understand in the deepest level so that we can prevent that for the next time.

A Trigger Ruins A Good Day

SPEAKER_02 7:49

Exactly. Because when we say this podcast is about embodying your divine design, we really mean it because our whole purpose is to actually speak from the place that has landed, it's direct experience. We've embodied it. It is a living truth, it's a living testimony, so we can speak, and that's where we teach from. That becomes the teacher. So that's what our courses is all about. That it's things we've actually moved through, we've learned, and it's the refinement that we're sharing. So having said that, we're just gonna go into it. So, like last last, I want to back up from this. So about three weeks ago, Michael and I, Michael had asked me, I'm just gonna briefly touch on this. So that's my uh Michael, it was a beautiful day. I was feeling a little bit, I was feeling a little bit more sensitive that way, that day, because of all the all the hormonal changes in me through the menopause. And I just felt a little bit more challenged that day. So when Michael said, Hey, oh my god, honey, let's go paddle boarding, I felt so joyous and excited, so happy, like just so wonderful. And as Michael wrapped it up to go, on the way there, he had a he had like just some frustration and and irritation come out because we had to stop by, drop something off for my son, which I had asked him before. I said, Hey Michael, while you're doing this, I can go to the gym, drop this off for my son, because that was before he said, Let's go paddleboarding. And he said, No, it's okay, we'll just do it on the way. But on the way, there was some traffic and a little bit seemed a little bit delayed. So suddenly, Michael, out of nowhere, while we're good, while we were in this happy place, he has this in internal expression of trigger. So he's feeling triggered, and then he speaks from it and it's kind of like projecting from there. Now, this is something that we were we've been working out for quite a long time, which it took Michael for a long time to understand. Okay, you're allowed to have a trigger, we all experience it, you're allowed to be frustrated, you're allowed to feel irritable, all of that. But the mastery becomes when we when we're living this embodiment, to be in charge, control, not project, not give it power, not have it expressed out to another person. So that day he couldn't, he didn't handle it. He actually projected, and it it really didn't land well in me. And and I just I noticed right away my energy changed, and I just I didn't, I I did not like it, and so I withdrew, and he noticed that, and we still went powderboard, but I wanted I wanted Michael to just drop me off home so I can like rebalance, but he said, No, let's still go. And I couldn't really enjoy the powderboarding experience. So I'm sharing this with you because afterwards, the next day we talked about it. I said, Michael, I really want to do something different. Next time this happens, when I say just drop me off, let me just be dropped out, let me have this time so that my emotional mental body doesn't get affected so I can really regulate myself better, and that way we just come into this place of peace.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

And I realize.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

And I and I and that day I made a promise to myself. I said, next time doesn't matter, I'm gonna stand by this because I want to be able to bring God Almighty into me and just allow it not to impact me negatively.

SPEAKER_00 11:30

I feel it's been a journey because in the past, when something has affected me, I easily speak it out loud. And as I easily speak it out loud, I'm not aware of that impact toward the individual and how that can a negative impact and how that can change very quickly, especially sometimes from a male mentality of where growing up, if there's been opportunities where, you know, I've been with the boys or something happens, it's like brushed off, and then we just move forward. And I'm not recognizing that sometimes the sensitivity of what I say can have that negative impact, which then can alter the direction of the day, which I told Honey after I negatively was, you know, speaking about the traffic, said something, and then realized that had a negative impact of trying to, you know, kindly nudge her to say, okay, let's just keep going paddle point. Let's let's not let the momentum hit that, let's just get on the lake, let's let's paddle, let's see if that happens. But I also knew it was honey's own choice and you know your sovereignty to choose what is best for you in that moment. So I'm not blocking, preventing, or choosing differently than what you want, even though I was hoping that the positive nature would still move forward through that.

The Video Request Turns Sharp

SPEAKER_02 12:44

Right. So in the past, what would happen then, Micro, like, for example, let's say from that triggered space, he would blast out of it, and then out of it, if I didn't like it and I'm like trying to defend myself or not, like, hey, don't say that, whatever, then on top of it, he would get upset and we would just get into this space that didn't feel good to any of us. It was a loop, you know, our emotional body would be affected, our mental body, and then if I spoke back, like then Michael would then go to his victim, and then he wouldn't understand. I'm like, you caused it, and how are you going to go into the victim? So it was just this, and we were not pleased because we just could not nail this. So the reason why I'm bringing this up is because that was three weeks ago. So last week, Wednesday, a week from today, no, a week from today. So I had made that promise to myself. We were, we had a really, we've had a just really, it was a beautiful day, and Michael had to uh Michael had to do his podcast recording for the his solo podcast, and he had a couple of things, and Michael's mom was coming to for dinner, and I had made a list of the things we had to do, and we just had to do this one-minute quick announcement video, which like we've always done. So as Michael finished, before Michael did his podcast video, I had walked in the room, I'd knocked in, hey Michael, like do you want lunch? I'd made lunch, like very pleasant. I could tell he was a little bit like a little funny, edgy. I couldn't figure out what was going on. So then before he came to do the podcast, I reminded her a couple of key things he he needs to uh make sure he addresses on the podcast. And I noticed he was again like a little bit like sharp. It's like I didn't know what was going on. So when he finished the podcast, I came out to remind him, hey Michael, let's just do this quick video announcement. And that's when he got triggered, and he really spoke from trigger. And here was this moment.

SPEAKER_00 14:52

Well, the third one, I think it was the third one. You you you spoke about the podcast announcement, and then no, no.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

So it was when I said it, then Michael's Michael was not responsible Michael was like, I don't want to do the video, and he was acting very sharp with it. I don't want to do the video, I don't know, and it and I could tell right away, you know how you're in a relationship, you know somebody. I could tell right away he's not in his true state, he's dropped his emotion, he's in some other weird place. I don't know what's going on. I've been in the dark, I've no idea what something's happening with him, and now he's starting to speak from there.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

And so basically, through this story, a trigger came up through me. And what I recognized throughout the day was the awareness that as it was building, as it was building from the morning, as it was starting to come, then it becomes a greater awareness and sense of responsibility for me to catch that trigger and to not only catch it but be aware of it, because what I see sometimes is when I'm going through something that almost feels like a teapot, and as it starts to boil, the water gets a little hotter, the expression or reaction gets a little more salty, and then all of a sudden, before I know it or recognize it, it comes out in a way that I didn't expect it because it was just boiling insiduously inside myself. So I recognize that came out, and it came out toward honey in a situation where that discomfort of not wanting to do a video, mother coming, she's just arriving, and a perfect storm of where all this was happening due to this you know internal pressure that felt like it was boiling up through me.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

Yeah, so I'm gonna pause right here to also share with you the audience so you understand the one thing that Michael and I have been refining has been the second we experience that change on the inside, and there's that discomfort, there's those heavier emotions starting to come out, not give it power, not to verbalize it, not to go into it and diffuse it. So we develop our own what's called the light method. And those of you who've taken our course on belief, thought, emotion, self-mastery, you have been able to experience that. And that's the that is the quickest one-minute, two-minute method that we I'm I apply all the time. So I have been able to shift that in me. Michael has witnessed it to diffuse it immediately. And this is an area that Michael has had trouble diffusing it.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

And so, what I've recognized in all of our triggers and all of our reactions versus response, I would say personally, when going through this, and those that are listening can also imagine when they're in a situation that something's coming up. I've learned and I've seen within myself the importance of catching it. Now, right now, have I been catching it? Have not been doing the best because I recognize that older version or that pain or that density has come up and it's taken the driver's seat. And not only has it taken the driver's seat, it's surprised me of how quickly not only can it come up, but quickly before I can even apply the light method and then recognize the it consumes me. It it consumes me and then being And you act from that and then act from it. Now it's a it's a huge mastery because it's like I would probably give an analogy of there is, let's just say, a dynamite stick and the fuse is lit. And then as it's burning, you have a short period of time that as it's starting to go tss, then the bomb blows up. And so with me, and I'm if anyone can relate toward when there's anger, irritability, frustration, and that is building up and I'm not catching that, then all of a sudden, one, two, three, four triggers come, well not triggers, but such reactions come, then it explodes, and then it catches me off guard like wow, where'd this come from? Because I ignored what we teach in our classes, is okay, draw awareness of the body, pause, see what's happening within, because one of the first things that we teach is really seeing before anything happens, can we recognize is there something changing in the body? Can we actually draw there's you know, are the shoulders going up? Do we feel heaviness in the chest? Is the heart rate starting to change, or is there something physiologically that's giving a cue that something is getting ready to happen?

Disengaging To Stop The Loop

SPEAKER_02 19:49

Right. So, which is really, really important. So again, we're talking about refinement here. So Michael was not able to catch it. And as soon as I saw it, like he started getting like literally talking, like really from that place it's defense, defense, it's kind of bitchy and it's like rude, you know, and that's not his natural state at all. So he's done he's he's coming from that, and the promise that I had made to myself is okay, I am going to just remove myself respectfully, and I'm I had made a promise, I'm not gonna interact, I'm not gonna give it power, I will not allow it to affect me emotionally or mentally, not at all. So I like draw a clear boundary by removing myself, and no, I don't have to go to dinner with Michael and his mom just because we made this plan. And this is a really difficult thing for me because I love Michael's mom so much, we're so close, and it wasn't anything towards Michael's mom, but I had to remove myself so that way I don't react from trigger, I don't allow that part, that part of me come out. So I am in total charge. Now, first is not to interact with my cause and also take myself in charge. That's why I needed to withdraw myself right away, which was very important. And the last thing I'll say, wait, wait, the last thing I say, and this was a promise, not necessarily for Michael, but this was for me to honor God Almighty, to allow God Almighty come into me so that way I am fully stable and I do not go out of line.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

And I just want to give a big win for both honey and myself for this shift that happened because usually there's a lot of fire between us. We have to had been. We have two fathers that have had extraordinary levels of anger. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:04

And so we're really breaking the pattern.

SPEAKER_00 22:07

And one point that I give the greatest win to is many times there would be an entanglement where one of us do not disengage. And I say that from a very deep, truth-hearted statement is if she doesn't disengage or I don't disengage, then it just starts to build that energy in a way where it does not turn out in the most healthy, happy, respectful way.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

Yeah, it turns into a fight, and it really hurt us. Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

So I'm congratulating the point of giving you the awareness and really the recognition that you did an amazing job to not only disengage, but to walk away, which has not been usually the case, nor myself, and disengaging, holding that healthy boundary. Obviously, myself being a little disappointed that you weren't joining dinner, but practicing how important it was to respect what you told to yourself, to leave that. And one of the biggest things that I've learned, and it's really helped myself, and I feel it's helped you, is when it may not always be in the environment, but if you have that opportunity in the environment, when a trigger comes up to immediately take space, because in that space, it doesn't allow what I and what we've learned is that unhealed wound, that childhood trauma that just wants to come out and express itself to anything. It could be one word, which has been, you know, my pattern. There can be one word stated, and then that childhood trauma clicks onto it. It can be a phrase, it could be a tone, it can be how it's said. That wants to come out. So by creating that space, then we give that and then we give an automatic time to just at least break apart so that that area can't clench on. And so I just want to congratulate you because that was amazing to have that space and to break, you know, an area that we've been entangled and many times have gone even to a deeper level of disagreement and conflict.

Calling In God To Stabilize

SPEAKER_02 24:19

Yeah, so thank you for that. And because I made that promise to myself, and and it was very important for me. So I'm gonna speak from this end here. For me, it was very important as I removed myself. One was to honor myself, love myself greater, and self-respect, knowing clearly Michael is out of line, he's not in the right space, and he is like I brought this awareness before: this is our sacred marriage. This is our we don't bring that negativity into it. This this is to stay very honored and respected. And when he when he goes and trigger for a minute, he loses that reality because he's consumed by those heavy emotions, and so it's been the part of not acting from there. And I have, and I I certainly had acted from there before as well. Many of us, if you think about it.

SPEAKER_00 25:14

Many of us have when those heavy emotions come up. It's hard, it's really hard not to act from them. Exactly. But what I've seen is allow those heavy emotions come over and take over the situation. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 25:25

And and I'm speaking from place of somebody who has had it take over and consume, and I don't like that. I don't like the way that then I behave from there, and then I go into like a battlefield with that. So it was it was a big promise that I had made myself, and I've been practicing this for several months now. It's been, I would say, since last September, like been making deep changes inside of me, and it's been with the support of God Almighty. I would not have been able to do this without the support of God Almighty. So on my end, as I removed myself, came in the room, I was very respectful, not a word of disrespect, nothing, you know, everything very integral. And inside of me, right away, I said, God Almighty, come into me. God Almighty, thank you so much for being in me. Thank you for stabilizing, thank you for taking over my emotions, thank you for taking over my body, thank you for taking over my thoughts. You, my emotions are your emotions, my thoughts are your thoughts. So it was so important right there that I claimed God Almighty over me. So I did not allow my human self to have any opportunity through its limitation to want to like create this into a fight or or think negatively. Anyway, I didn't allow it. This was very important.

SPEAKER_00 26:50

Second part, just to mention real quickly, that is part of the light method.

SPEAKER_02 26:54

That is part of the light. So I applied it right away, and then the second part of it was then it was the thoughts that wanted to come, which would go before look, Michael did it again, Michael this, Michael that, I didn't allow that because I knew then there is the train, the train of those thoughts are waiting for me to give power to them, so then they can come in. Like thoughts would be, for example, look at how Michael treats you, he doesn't respect you, you know, why are you putting up with it? All of those it's like a war. It's it's a war, and right away I immediately I said, You have no power, so I have to dismantle them. You have no power, there's only the authority of God Almighty here. Our marriage is sacred, our marriage is holy, I will not allow it. So then that takes discipline, doesn't it? That takes deep discipline, so I had to immediately take ownership over that. So I caught that in, and then again, this is the change in me. So before, where I would then feel victim, I didn't feel victim, I felt very empowered, and I knew and I knew the truth. I knew the truth in me. Michael was out of line because he interacted with that part of them, so he gave his power away. I don't have to give my power away, I can stay in my power with God's authority and over our marriage. So then this was the next. I I said instead, I had to choose higher thoughts from God Almighty. So I sit inside of me with that authority, God Almighty. You have this sacred marriage that you have blessed. Michael is a sacred man, Michael is a man of God, Michael is a conscious man, God Almighty, you reach him. I'm gonna hand Michael over to you. Christ's light, consume him, and the negativity, you have no power over Michael. So then that was the third step that I had to take, and I had to release it out of me so that I'm not trying to do it on my own. Call God Almighty in. These are all the steps that I had to do while I removed myself from Michael so Michael can go to dinner with his mom. And and I felt then my body, I felt very relaxed in it. I went to dinner with my son, I had the best time with my son, I enjoyed the night and all of that, and I just let it be. And this is a very important, important part that I had promised myself because I knew I needed to do it, and I needed to take action this way, and knowing by doing this, it's going to piss off that part of my call. That why did you take away? Why did you do this? Whatever, because he's not in that right space. But I knew I had to do this.

SPEAKER_00 29:50

And so, what's so important about what Honey said is when there is a conflict or when there is a trigger, what Honey demonstrates so well is she went up, she elevated herself and went up. I went down because I allowed the trigger not only to affect me, but a pattern of mine was when a trigger came out, before I could recognize the negative impact I had on Honey, I was more consumed by the trigger and angry at her reaction of what that trigger did to her. So instead of drawing the awareness first of okay, I did not communicate in a very loving manner. I came out very reactive. A old wound came up and was projected upon her. And the last thing I want to do when I'm in my heart-centered conscious mind is affect honey in a negative way. I failed that test. I could I take full accountability of that at that moment. And the most interesting thing about that is it was so refined compared to moments where we would get upset. There would be moments where our voices would write. This was, you know, a conversation, an opportunity to do a video, gentle, but the refinement from something very big to something very light can still bring up what I saw myself, a trigger. So as she went up, I went to dinner, had a nice dinner with my mom, but when I came back, I could still feel the anger within me of honey taking our space, my mind judging, oh, honey's withdrawing again. And really, instead of focusing on what was brought to my attention and how I negatively impacted, all of a sudden there was this blame and there was this heavy judgment of why this had to happen.

SPEAKER_02 31:49

And your victim came out. Your victim came out versus versus on my end, my victim, there was no victim. I was actually victorious. I felt very empowered, and the the surprising, most surprising, this is the most surprising thing. Over the next three, four nights that I slept here and you slept in the other room, because I was like, I'm gonna just honor this space till you've you come into your your balancing. I slept the best I've slept in probably the last two years. I didn't wake up once. I was in soapies, and I kept saying, I was like, wow, God, you love me. So these two things are helping me. I was like, no, I was like, God Almighty, you love me so much. Thank you. And I felt so proud of myself. God Almighty, thank you. God Almighty, you really like when I called you and you really hold me, I felt so, so secure, so safe as I leaned on God and I allowed the power of God Almighty to work through me instead of me trying to do it on my own, which I felt a hundred times.

SPEAKER_00 32:54

And what I went through was a beautiful battle. I had an internal battle between the ego and the heart. In yourself, in myself, in the other room, in the other room, and I held it gracefully in ways that I gave space from honey. I focused very deeply in the work that I had to do, the mentorships, the clients, but underneath there was this still victim voice of like why this had to happen, question it, what you know, what could have done better, just kind of rerunning it. And what I recognize is this loop, and I'm sure many men that can relate this, and women too, is when there's an unresolved conflict, how that loop keeps circling of like questioning why looking at it didn't happen the way I wanted, and just really what I call a pure mindfuck that keeps trapped in the pain that hasn't been fully brought to surface. Now, underneath that, I was journaling, I was writing, I was looking deeper, but it was coming from a pain state, and I wasn't doing it being the observer or looking at from a way that I wasn't taking it personal, because somewhere I somewhere the Mr. Judge was in there, Mr. Personalization was in there, and so it placed me in a way where I withdrew and really started to look at it, but not through the lens of a high conscience, because what I read certainly not from a gracious, because what I've learned in this is when we're feeling in a lower state of sadness, hurt, in pain. And in that consciousness, when trying to make decisions out of that space or trying to create results out of that space, then it's not actually coming from your highest state of being. It's actually coming from a state that is keeping you below your baseline. It's actually the central nervous system is still dysregulated because the mind's still looping of all the situations of why it hasn't resolved yet. And so I could see myself having some great highs, you know, doing what I love and serving people, but also some dips. And so that kept happening through almost like a week, how it's a few days a few days.

SPEAKER_02 35:20

So but what what I want to share with you. So typically what happens then in this scenario, for example, then Michael gets a little bit passive. And one of the things that I've always brought him into invitation, Michael, in situations like this, like if you were triggered, you you're the one that was the you caused the trigger, you didn't handle it, then this becomes the opportunity for you to step actively to demonstrate or show like and just take it with passive.

SPEAKER_00 36:05

And I'm also withdrawing. And it's avoidance, avoiding He's like trying to say not to have conflict, you know. My the old mechanism is withdrawing, avoiding conflict, and somewhere my mind thinking, I'm waiting for the perfect time then to present where where myself or honey is not in a charge place. That was the old system in the head.

SPEAKER_02 36:30

Meanwhile, I wasn't, I was in my glorious space, and I was just grateful, journeying, like, wow, God Almighty, like, oh, this is amazing. You really helped me. I'm so glad now. I wow, thank you. And I was just in deepest gratitude, God Almighty, you gave me another opportunity. I did it, look, I did it. Like I felt like a, you know, like God Almighty is praising me, like I'm being praised by God Almighty. Like, wow, you did it, you really applauded. Good job. Like, you didn't go into this. This is how you were able to bring grace in. This is amazing, profound. So I felt really, really amazing. And I believe that's why my central nervous system was so balanced. That's why I was able to sleep so good. There was not a single thought, nothing bothered, no emotions, nothing. And meanwhile, Michael, like, but the the good thing that Michael did he was able to still in these few days, like send a text, respond, like try to, but kind of again, like, like I can tell he's not like.

SPEAKER_00 37:27

Well, I can say this. Let me share. Yeah, I was allowing the challenge to be bigger in me. That's right. And what I recognized is in past situations, it was interesting to see whether that was the anger, the pain, the hurt, the sadness, the despair. All of a sudden, that would be so big that the true nature of who I am would shrink. And then I would give the driving wheel to that part of myself, which is almost like if you can give a visualization, it's like giving the hurt child the driving wheel. And then the in the inner children.

SPEAKER_02 38:05

And we all do it. We all have done it.

SPEAKER_00 38:07

Right. And it's like, imagine, like when we draw the awareness, it's like, why would I ever give the hurt child that's just screaming for attention, that just wants to be loved, that just wants to feel the empathy and compassion of a moment that was never healed. And so it's acting immature, it's adding, it's act acting childish, not childlike, and really repeating something that keeps coming up that still hasn't been fully met in a different way than what Honey and I do is come forth in a way of speaking, talking, expressing what's going on, which I'm I'm grateful for, honey, because there's many times where I'll get so caught in that childish mode that even though honey's made the boundary, like, okay, I'm not gonna come and chase, I'm not gonna come over and rescue, I'm not gonna come and save. Yet sometimes there's just this intuitive mother's nature, the discipline of being an amazing wife, to come and say, what is going on? Because somewhere I've gone into a place that I've like trapped. You've gone into a hole. I I've trapped myself into a place where all of a sudden it's that ruminating and processing. And what you know really came forth recently and looking at that is saying this challenge doesn't have to be bigger than me because God Almighty within myself is much more powerful and greater than this challenge. This area within me doesn't have to pull me down because the truth of who I am is such a magnificent force that none of this can meet what's within my heart. Honey says many times, you have the kindest heart, you're so sweet, you have this ability to show love. That is your superpower. Yet somehow, when this stuff comes up, it's so wild to see what happens in myself. My heart closes, it feels like my shield's up, then my superpowers weaken because I'm not able to express the love.

Love As The Ultimate Diffuser

SPEAKER_02 40:19

And it's and then you're kind of you're quite evil, you know. I have to say, you mean, you're evil, and then the this stuff that comes out of your mouth. And this before, the reason why I'm sad because it happens to all of us. And and the reason before I say mean mean, mean, but it's like, you know, and and before we would get into the space and it would just be hurtful, it affected everything, and it just took so long to get out of it, and it just really hurt because we knew that wasn't the truth. So it's taken a long time to undo all of these things, and and it really has been the initiative step, like discovering, and and I would say the the victory has come because the last two years I've been so much more disciplined with God Almighty, and I'll take ownership of that, really pushing God Almighty into this space so that you can rise up and it's gone so much better and better and better. And and this is the part that I want to say, because I was I was sharing with Michael, Michael, there is no talent, there is no art. I'm I'm right now going through menopause, and it's not like a weekend journey. This this menopause stage is like it's like months, years, and it's uncomfortable. Hormones are all over the place. My every day inside my body, the emotions, thoughts, body doesn't feel good. If you allow me left and right, I want to bitch, I want to yell, I want to scream, I want to just go out on whoever. I said, but you have no idea how every single day you're not experiencing it because I am standing on top of that and I'm inviting God in so that I don't bring that into our relationship. And I'm sharing this with you because it is your choice whether you want to give in to this. First, you have to realize it's a choice. Second, then you need to decide if you want to continue or not. Third is the ownership. So these are all empowering. And when we recognize we're not living for ourselves, we're living for God Almighty, and the beauty of God Almighty is to be protected between us. Our love comes from God Almighty. It shouldn't be this is something for 10 years that I've talked to Michael. You are responsible for this, I'm responsible. I can't be the fool responsible for all of this. You have the responsibility not to trash it, not to dirty it. He finally understands because it took him for a long time to get it. Just one more thing. My part in this in this from last week context, even though I saw Michael not treating me right, even though I saw then he's you know talking back, even though I saw like it would be disrespectful whatever, I chose not to go into that interpretation. Number one. Number two, then on top of it, the way grace comes through God Almighty, God Almighty brings grace when somebody's misbehaving like that. Then I went to Michael and I held him. I said, Michael, you are a man of God, you are not treating me right, you're not standing in the honor of the sacred husband you're supposed to be. And those words that came up, I spoke truth. I didn't come up from a place to disrespect him, to put him down. I spoke truth, and that shook him because something rose in understanding inside of him.

SPEAKER_00 44:00

Could not be more grateful to you, honey, because I feel what you did, and I feel it's the most powerful key is you spoke that truth. You spoke that from your heart. And I feel for me at least, when that opportunity is spoken from the heart, spoken from love, then that hurt and painful area all of a sudden feels supported. All of a sudden feels there's empathy and compassion. All of a sudden it's like, wow, it's not being screamed at, yelled at, disciplined, hurt, and pain, or coming out of way where it feels like it needs defense. So thank you, honey, because I'm deeply grateful that that ability of you expressing that helped me move out of it as each day when I woke up.

SPEAKER_02 44:51

But I'm gonna tell you, it wasn't easy. I have to say, it was because of the support of God Almighty in me that gave me that. But because if you would have allowed my human, I'd be like, F you. No, for that. Like honestly, like, no, like, no, I don't want to do that because it's much easier to give to our human limitation.

SPEAKER_00 45:09

And I feel that's so important to say for those that are listening. And you know, when you're hearing this, it may just allow you to think when you're in those situations, in those relationships where it feels like it's a battle, that who is given the driving wheel? Is it the human self or is it the divine self? Is it that God presence that's coming in, or is it the human limitation that's coming from pain? And you did an amazing job. As that time, I would say before that, what I was doing to at least strengthen myself and not to fall completely out of it was for those that are in situations like this, is to keep connecting to God Almighty, whether it's prayer, whether it's in nature, whether it's going to the gym, whether it's coming in ways to help lift out of that vibration. Because it's very easy, and I've seen this many times, where myself, and I work with a lot of men, where once we get caught into that area, we close ourselves into that area, and then it's like the pain body wraps itself around you, and then all of a sudden, I'm like in this state where nothing's gonna get better. Fears are all of a sudden like just projecting, and it's like, oh my gosh, and the thoughts are really right. The thoughts are like you know, ginormous, and then the fear of like, oh, this is gonna end, and then it goes to all the way to the core wounds of abandonment, betrayal, rejection, and it's like this circus. Yet what I'm so happy with, honey, and what we've done this past year is recognize that triggers are treasures, and we've seen that this is going to come up within all of us. We do recognize that this is part of the cleansing and clearing, and there is a process to go through. And the courses that we've taught together, we've really seen that as this comes up and we work individually with them, as we express them together as a union, then there's this amazing space within us to allow our God Almighty self to really bring forth that greater version of ourselves. Because what I see is I was fighting with all my older versions this past week. It was like all the old, immature teenager, young adult, we're all coming up to battle. And what Honey and I, and Honey has told me many times, when it comes up for a heavy battle, it's on its way out because it just is holding on for dear life, just to hold on so it can make one last voice because it doesn't want to change. And obviously, it doesn't feel good. Discomfort doesn't feel like, oh well, just go into the new version. No, that old version is like doing everything, distraction, voices coming in, saying what she should have done, all the just blah. Yet when recognizing how important it is to step back and be the observer and see what's coming up, and then recognize that there's something greater coming out of it. There's a gift at the end that can't be seen. Personally, it gives me a greater inspiration to say, okay, what's really going on? Because underneath this, there's going to be a golden gift. There's going to be a version that's now going to sprout out because I'm releasing that older version. And most importantly, I feel gives the greatest gift that honey's helped me see is forgiveness and allowing that forgiveness to be stated because honestly, myself, I haven't been really taught the depth of how to forgive in a way where it's not just what I did, what happened, but the impact to another person and the consequences that happen. Because many of us, including men, we just kind of move on, we bury it, we don't look at it. So thank you, honey, for bringing that attention, that awareness, and really what I see as a deeper level of alchemization of what comes through us because it really is this transformation that we've come across. And like we've said, we don't have all the answers. Sometimes I fall on my head, sometimes there's moments, but we're refining it each time, we're getting better each time, and we're speaking it in a way so open and vulnerable because we know this is an area that helps our greatest God expression to come through us. And not only come through us, but to be our most authentic version. And I feel personally, this journey of ascension, incension, really, the more I'm becoming my authentic version, the more I'm learning my full God truth, then those parts that are not authentic, those parts that are not real, those parts that are not me, they're falling, but they're not falling, they're holding on. And it's like I have to really wipe them, release them, transform them, because sometimes they don't go out easy. Like I was telling a dear brother the other day. If anyone remembers the 80s and that movie Gremlins, and you had that wonderful character Gizmo that was all nice and sweet. Then all of a sudden you pour water on Gizmo. What happens? All the gremlins come out. And I feel like when you look at a trigger, there's a point where a trigger comes out, and then you have all of these intruders behind the trigger that want to come out and just they want to put up a fight. And that's where what I see in this beautiful journey of moving through it, recognizing it, expressing it, and speaking it in such raw and realness gives us what we've seen in our teachings, a roadmap so that we're not hurting each other, because that's the last thing we want to do to each other.

True Apology And Breaking Patterns

SPEAKER_02 51:05

Definitely. I feel the the last part that I want to share about this is important. Perhaps I am in a seat of advantage because being a mother, I've raised sons also, I've seen when they're not in that right place, and how important it is to stand in that right place. And before, because I would also try to self-correct you or help you see, and you couldn't see and fix it, that caused so much problem. And as I became aware, let me let me just stand in this truth. I don't have to go in there, I can stand here. That that has changed because then I'm not hurting myself, I'm not hurting my health or well-being over this anymore. So I can I can really love myself and allow God to love me to go through this process so that way that love is brought in, the higher love is brought into the situation by calling it in. That has created the difference. And the other part is when I came reached out to you a few days later, I said, Michael, like, are you pleased? Is God pleased with you the way you behaved? And I feel like those of us who are very mission-focused, we are living for God Almighty. We we don't, we're not here to prove anything to anyone or get win anyone, but when they created a creator as us, like I I stood in that and I was like, God, are you pleased with me? And I received that internal like, yes, like you did it. So that was a huge moment for me that I finally had my breakthrough that I needed to demonstrate to God Almighty that putting you first, you are going to come in this and take the situation so your grace, your beauty, your mercy can come in. And that's those are the gifts of God Almighty. And for that, on the inside, the reward of it was then on the inside my body, great sleep, true peace in my heart, in my head. I didn't go to worry, I didn't go to end, I didn't go to any of those things that normally I would have, like all the things that would knock me out. And if anything, the other thing that happened is it gave me greater strength to be even more gracious and to be able to, even Michael had miss afterwards even further on Sunday, like he he even was more disrespectful. So, what happened out of that? I I went set in meditation, and God Almighty said, Go put because he had a little further lapse after that. God Almighty said, just go put your hand on him. And of course, my human self is like, I don't want to do that, but before it said anything, I silenced it because here's the key: you need to silence that voice, and you need to take authority and dominion over yourself on the inside, and you need to say no, you have no voice, you have no authority, you have no power, and that's what I've done on the inside, and I've claimed God Almighty's truth over me. So, with that, I went to my court, put my hand, and that really allowed things to unfold, and I was able to remain remain in that powerful presence without retracting, and that's what was able to give him the opportunity to process so he can come back to his center and take ownership. And this is the gift when you're in a union like this, like the gifts that come, but it does come out of dirt and ugliness.

SPEAKER_00 54:56

And what you did, the greatest form God is so pleased with you of love. When she came over and she met me with love, it softened you were in a really bad place. I was I was really upset when she met me with love because it it because another situation happened right during the same time, and my dad's birthday, and all these things were happening. I was in a very sensitive, upset place beyond what happened. And that's a whole other story on another episode. But you met me with love, and what really helped me was God's love. God's love was when that happened, the shield around my heart was dropped. The compassion of your placing your hand allowed that inner safety from that inner child just to feel supported, just to feel that ability that, oh wow, she's coming here, not with knives, not with an area to say what you did wrong, but just more of a gentle, loving, strong, firm way of meeting me in a place that I always knew when I met with love, that to me is like the ultimate diffuser. Like whatever I'm going through, no matter how upset, how angry, when love is presented, it's like the kryptonite that just melts everything and allowed me then to open, to release tears, and just to express what was going on because I no longer was coming from the mind. It allowed me to speak from the heart, and then that allowed the flow to open up and resolve what was going on. And I would say, as much as 2020, we'd want to change everything. I'm grateful how each element, each piece comes before because it shows me what I can do better next time. Each moment where I was met by a situation, where could I have done better? Where could I have come greater from the heart? What can I do? Because I feel these conversations and what honey love, what we like to do, especially after these, is we have deep conversations of how do we now take this to our next disagreement? Or how do we learn from this so that this doesn't repeat again? Or how can we refine this even greater? Because we know that greater version, that God version within us, wants to see the fullest expression of itself within. And these triggers, these treasures are opportunities to once again ascend deeper into what we know we're here to do.

SPEAKER_02 57:40

But please know I still hold Michael accountable.

SPEAKER_01 57:43

So he's like, I thought that I was like, I was like, wow, like I feel so proud. I was like, I am so proud of myself. I'm oh my god, I'm no God is gonna reward me now. So Michael's like, yes, I have to make up for this. I was like, all right, this is gonna be a really good one. All right, Michael got some making, making up to do. So of course he's taking me out to dinner tonight. So, but that's another thing.

SPEAKER_02 58:13

But he's gotta, he's gonna like, you know, go out because they really at the end of the day, what is true apology? A lot of times we just say true apology and then repeat it. That's not true apology. The gift of true apology, if something has come up, when you truly draw reflection and you bring awareness, and I was teaching this to Michael today. This was the teaching part. I was like, Michael, look, you're so masterful in your heart. You're one of the most gifted people in your heart. The issue is when you don't bring it, yeah. I was reminding, I was like, when you don't bring that care into your heart, then you don't you don't apply it from a place of care. So it becomes a truth in embodiment. What happens? It just stays in this, in this like the thought field. I was like, that's the issue, and that's why you repeat it. If you bring it, like if you draw the awareness, like for example, if you're like, let's say you buy me flowers, that's so beautiful. And if you write, okay, honey, I learned from this, I truly learn from this, I'm gonna stand on this. It's a decision. Like me, I chose, I told myself, I made the decision that I am, I am not gonna do this. So then I'm holding myself accountable so I can follow through. By doing that, he's not doing this for me, he's gifting himself the opportunity. But it's like I'm I'm the one that gets to witness it. So, with that, that's why I told Michael Michael, I'm not I'm gonna do something different. So he is a witness to me holding me accountable that I chose to do something different, and that dissolves any fear that dissolves any fear that I have of like, oh, this is gonna keep going, this could be worse, and it really shows the what I am so grateful for you to honey is the evolution of yourself that sees that this doesn't have to continue the way it does because you can truly dissolve it from that when you bring that care into it, like even let's say that was a great apology, apology, like let's say literally you're from heartfelt, you're running when you bring that awareness and you're choosing. That's how this ends, it ends a cycle because when we recognize the cycle isn't about you, this cycle is about the way your dad did it, his dad did it, his other dad, and it's about me, what my dad did. I have promised to end this cycle in me. I'm the one who's gonna end this generational, let's say they call it curse to generational blessing. I want to bring generational blessing with God Almighty in this area, something my father struggled with. I don't want to carry it because I never liked the way when I behaved that way, and I knew it wasn't me, but it's like I I suffered so much because I didn't know how to how to overcome it, and I've overcome it, and I'm on the other side, and to me, this is the vic victory, victoriousness, and I feel my human feels so much of success. Why? Because no longer allowing my human self to stop my God-given self. I was I allowed my God-given self, Almighty, to come into my body in this difficult area and for it to be embodied as truth. So that's when I talk about as a Christ light, was able to be embodied on earth, I allowed a heavenly realm to enter into my body and bring it to earth through this conflict. And for that, the world is a better place because I was allowed to welcome that consciousness through me. And for that, I'm so grateful. I can see like the heavens, yes, yes, you did it, because that's the walk at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:11

And I thank you for sharing that so deeply, honey, because as much as what is being shared for all those that are listening, we weren't taught this, we weren't shown this, and that each of you that are going through struggles or challenges, just know this is the inner work. This is what we love to share, love to teach, love to present in our workshops, in our conversations.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:36

After we're we're over it, because it's not it's when you're in it, you know, you can't you have to come, you have to after the residual.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:45

That all of us, when we're going through, there hasn't been a manual, there hasn't been a book that was given from our family because they were doing the best and that we're transmuting their lack and limitations. So, you know, as you go through this, it's important to also give yourself ease and peace and know that you're doing the best you can. And again, as honey does so very well, hold that level in accountability with compassion, with love, but also knowing there is a greater force. God Almighty is always here to lift greater than any challenge, greater than any victim. Sometimes myself, individuals can fall in that trap where all of a sudden God Almighty is not present, and it becomes all of a sudden an endless problem. But right now, there is a choice, and as honey's reminding me so many times, we have a decision, it just becomes that divine will, not human will, that we can tap into any single moment when this happens. And this was the biggest lesson for me.

The New Non Negotiable Practice

SPEAKER_02 1:03:50

So, what is your okay? Tell her your takeaway. What did you truly what did you in very simple words? What have you decided inside of you that goes in your action step?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:04

So, in my action step, my truly takeaway from this is it becomes my responsibility to call in God immediately upon any discomfort, challenge, pain, hurt, so that I know there's a greater force that is assisting me versus relying on a limited, old, painful area, especially when it comes to a trigger to call in God, to use the light method. And for those that want to learn, that's another thing. This is what we teach in our program. But the the lesson is call upon God immediately, and not only call upon God immediately, but know with God's support that everything and anything is possible.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:55

Yeah, absolutely. The thing is diffuse it and silence it, yeah, and don't feed it, do not feed it.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:04

So if I add a part two to that, I would say call in God and close my mouth.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:08

That's it, call God. I love that. Can you please make a t-shirt? Please call in God, close my mouth.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:16

Because it's it's that's what that's what gets me in trouble.

Courses Mentoring Newsletter And Closing

SPEAKER_02 1:05:19

That's I mean, really, because then it starts coming out of you like what like you you were in the wrong, and then now you're even going off like it's another one. It's a good one. So we trust, and you know, for those of you again, it's these that we go through that becomes valuable, direct experience that we share from. So we have two of our courses that are truly meaningful around this. One is the inner divine union, where you get to learn about your inner masculine, inner feminine, and that relationship that is such a powerful understanding of yourself. Is is so valuable. That course is part of our course series, and it's got 12 modules that you go through. It's like the precursor. It really is the precursor. But to understand, these are the qualities from God Almighty that is in you. So you understand that on a deep level, this relationship within is in your own sacred marriage before you being with a partner. The other part is our number one, our number one course that is has been the roadmap for us that we've had the breakthrough is the belief, thought, emotion, self-mastery. That is a 14 module. You can go through it once a week. That will be three months and a half. You finish it, or you can go through it faster. That is a game changer. And we'll literally emphasize on that because that changed our lives. We taught it because we changed our lives because we were so unhappy the way we were handling each other, our relationship, because we were allowing these parts of our consume us, and we really suffered our events, everything suffered from it, and we really had to do something, and that was birthed out of it because we changed. So that's also available. It's just on our EscentionAlchemist.com courses, and you can purchase it, go through it, and any questions you have, we're happy to help you.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:37

And if you have any comments of what you've learned, if you have if there's any ahas, share it with us. Share it if those that know that they're going through things with their partners, honey, and I we would love to help you. We work individually as mentors, we work together, and this is our specialty. This is our area. We realize that we love to share this because we're constantly growing. And even when honey says, And we go through it, we go through it. And we and you know, when she says teach me or teach you, I believe it's just shifting the word reminding because we already know this. We already know what's within it. It's just the remembrance of what God Almighty is expressing through us. Sure, we can teach, but it's like you have it within yourself.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:21

But I feel like when I was saying that, just if I feel that was God saying to me, let me teach this, that higher teaching. Of course. And you felt it the way I was sharing it with that higher teaching. I knew I'd pure wisdom. I I I never even thought of it till that till that morning. It's like I I saw that teaching come in. It was direct teaching. God was showing me to show us.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:42

You channel that through yourself to share, and I feel as you know as you know, mediums, as mentors, there's a level of energy that can be shared. So thank you all for joining this enriching, beautiful moment. We're very grateful that we can open our hearts and really share what's raw and real in our full authenticity.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:02

And may you receive it in your heart, in your soul, and may you take what we shared from our authentic truth to better your life, because you don't have to suffer. You can quantum shift this and and collapse the time, but but what has been a 10-year journey that we've brought to this refinement, and literally through this podcast, we're gifting it to you because we recognize how much value this share has. And as you receive it, you find value in it, please reshare it with others. Let other people also experience the blessing that is coming out of this because it's not ours. We were the players in it that God Almighty has blessed. That that is the truth that I know. And we'll be sharing this on our newsletter that comes out. Want to make sure you're on the newsletter. If you're not, it's on the show notes. Please get on the newsletter because we have the newsletter coming out every week that can really help support your embodiment journey because we're together as a community to bring heaven on earth.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:22

And we get to live in joy, we get to live in peace, and we get to live in love as our natural essence. Exactly. And I feel that is the goal that we present ourselves in every single moment that we live in this beautiful world. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:38

So have a beautiful done, much love, and until next time. Many blessings to you all. Bye bye.