E93 Honi & Michael: Break The Disregulated Emotional Cycle In A Relationship With Support of God ALMighty

Break The Emotional Cycle In A Relationship With Support of God ALMighty. What happens when a joyous vision for the one you love stirs up something they never expected to face?

In this raw, real episode, Rev. HoniB and Michael Abramson open up about something that unfolded between them this week, not a fight, but a moment where Michael moved through his own internal emotional process while HoniB made the choice to stand in God ALMighty's Presence rather than engage. From that place of Clarity, she was able to guide him gently back to his center.

In this episode:

• What happens when joy for someone else's future stirs up unexpected overwhelm
• The difference between communicating discomfort and acting from it
• Why stepping away can be the most loving response, not the most distant one
• How old childhood wounds can surface disguised as present-moment reactions
• The candle practice for real listening without interruption or defense
• What it means to stand in God ALMighty's Clarity instead of engaging the storm
• Why calling on God ALMighty directly changes what happens next
• The distinction between human feelings and truly feeling God ALMighty's Presence
• Why capacity to receive blessing can be blocked by old pain
• Practical, actionable steps for catching the cycle next time it comes up
• Why sharing this without shame is part of their Mission

This is not a highlight reel of a perfect marriage. This is what Sacred Partnership actually looks like when it is lived, not performed.

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Transcript

Welcome And The Embodiment Lens

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Blessings and welcome to the Essential Alchemist Podcast. It's your host, Reverend Honey Borden.

SPEAKER_02 0:07

And Michael Abramson.

SPEAKER_01 0:08

We have our combined episode today, and we're so excited to be with you here as we have a really important message that we like to share on this podcast today that has to do with what we actually walk through. So this whole podcast is about what we walk through and where we teach from, that it has become the teacher with the support of God Almighty's presence. So then we bring our teachings through. Like we have the monthly teachings of the true prosperous living, or Michael brings it to his conscious evolving circle. I bring it to my woman's mentorship. This is where these teachings come from. And today we're going to actually walk you through what we have walked through so that way you can really apply it to your life because it is all about embodiment.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

And what I really appreciate to follow up with, honey, thank you, is our real life experiences. We really gain such a huge value, not only about speaking it, but really being authentic and really seeing what is brought forward for us to see the greater meaning of. And always we come back to our God-given presence, what we're here to embody and align with. So I feel like we're, you know, moving through these times, and as they come up, they give us huge levels of awareness and huge levels for us not only to speak about here on the podcast, but what we usually do, speak for hours of what is experienced and what have we embraced, what areas can we reflect on, what areas can we be accountable for? So thank you, honey, for bringing that forward because I feel this is a place where people can come to and really, really remember the purpose that's within us through going through this everyday human experience.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

Exactly. So the podcast focus is about aligning with God's presence. That's what Essential Alchemist is all about, and then embodying that presence in our life. So when we are walking that embodiment, we're going to meet all kinds of things within ourselves. And usually these are all the limitations, challenges, disappointments, hurts, all of these things that have been part of our story, and they all want to be evolved because they're not truth. And they're not truth in terms of what God Almighty has organized and put in purpose for our life. They have we have lived them, but we can't carry them with us anymore. So for those of you who are new to this podcast, welcome. We really welcome you because you get to hear what it's like to live on faith, live on trust, live in embodiment. We're very raw, we're real, open, authentic. We put it out there. So we we're we're here to share with you. No, we haven't figured it all out. There's plenty we've figured out, and we're continuously being shaped and molded in God Almighty's image. And this is our walk. And for those, for those of you who are returning, a lot of you know us, a lot of us are getting to know us, and a lot of you we're so grateful. Download our episode as soon as it comes because you know the lens that we're speaking from is is really a lived, shared experience that you can apply in your own life.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

Thank you, honey. And I just want to thank, we want to thank each and every one of you around the world, around the globe. It's been so amazing to see all the individuals that are coming in from Vietnam, South America, Europe, Australia, America. So we just really want to take the time to thank you and honor you because we know time is moving fast. And when you can dedicate some time just to come join, pull up a seat, have some tea, and listen to what we're so inspired and passionate to share. It just gives us great joy and happiness that you're here today in each and every episode. So thank you all for joining today. And let's dive in, honey.

Owning Emotional Reactions In Love

SPEAKER_01 4:29

Yes, we're this is so this is episode number 93. We're seven episodes short from the hundredth episode coming out. That will be released on 8.8, Monday, 8.8. And stay tuned because we're going to do something very special about that that we haven't done before. So just mark 8.8 on your calendar.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

So you said something that really hit me when you said, you know, sometimes we just haven't figured it all out. Yep. And I personally just want to take full accountability in that because I know in the episodes of my emotions and it taking full charge of me, where it has impacted you for so many years, at least 10 years.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

Wait, are you talking about episodes? Are you talking about the podcast episodes?

SPEAKER_02 5:16

No, I'm talking about now.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

Life episodes.

SPEAKER_02 5:17

Life episodes.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

Okay, gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 5:20

Where the behavior of what's being demonstrated from a trigger or something that arrives within me has been an area that I'm still figuring it out. I'm still learning and seeing the consequences, the impact of when emotions are not controlled, thoughts start to arise.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

You're talking about your emotions.

SPEAKER_02 5:46

My emotions.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:47

And limited beliefs surface, and then all of a sudden they come out at the most wrong timing and have a huge impact on you that causes a major disruption.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

Yeah. Well, it's not just on me. I feel it's the what happened, it affects the relationship, it affects the activities that have been planned, it affects everything.

SPEAKER_02 6:12

Yeah. It really does. And the reason I share that is because I feel like I'm not alone. I feel like many men, and even in many relationships, there is this lack of awareness of what happens when there is emotions that are not regulated. And old habits or patterns that keep circulating until we were speaking about it in the kitchen. I didn't get a chance to respond until until I get sick of it. What has to happen for me to finally look at some of the behaviors that I've demonstrated or some of the reactions that keep happening that are literally going all the way back to childhood wounds that have never been resolved, and all they've been known is just to react in a certain behavior, which has followed a mother, a father, a teacher. And so I feel this past week, several weeks, we've gone through quite a bit to what I feel is share the great wisdom and the ability of accountability, ownership, and how we navigate through it as a couple.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

Yeah, sure. So let's unpack it because I feel some of our listeners there might be like, Michael, what are you talking about? Like, can you like be a little bit more clear? Because I'm okay, I'm hearing this, but I'm not quite understanding. So let's just let's just speak clearly about this.

A Big Vision Sparks Overwhelm

SPEAKER_01 7:42

So for example, one of the areas in me and Michael's relationship over these past 10 years has been where, for example, I would I would say something. Let's say let's just use an example two weeks ago. I think it's just gonna be pretty easy. Okay. So two weeks ago, Michael and I were sitting as we're starting to starting July, the next uh six months that's before us, so we can talk about all the activities for Jurap because we collaborate, we work together, we do everything together. And one of the things behind the scene, I've been really, really joyful because a lot of you know I've been very heavily involved with the AI trainings and setting up agents and super agents and all of that that has really freed a lot more space in our lives and even more underway so we can enjoy more of the gifts in life. One of them in our conversation was this area that I've really helped Michael with taking the his teachings of the sacred men, sacred conscious man, sacred evolved man, the 12 classes that he has taught to turn them into a chapter. So I helped him with all of that so that he can move it into the direction of the book. And so when I brought this up, it was very interesting because I've been so excited for him. Michael, Michael's demeanor changed. Not only was he not excited, he got like actually quite overwhelmed, frustrated, and he kept, he kept, he kept, he kept getting caught in the details. And meanwhile, I'm like, Michael, can you just imagine? Like, from could you just imagine like the idea of you by the end of the year, you have your book released, like you have. But what happened was whatever was going on in him, and remember the video series too. Yeah, but whatever what was going on in him, and and I also shared, I said, Oh my gosh, Michael, for our 10-year, because our 10-year anniversary is coming up also in November. I was like, wouldn't it be amazing if because it's 10 years, we do 10 short videos. So the idea for me is like, oh my god, it's so exciting. These 10 videos, they get to this from the 10 years, what we have learned, and so we get to share it with you all. And but what happened to Michael, the joy, just one second, Michael, the joy didn't take place. Something else, which he's gonna talk about, what happened. So out of that, I notice I noticed him like suddenly his whole energy change, his whole demeanor changed, and he got he went to a complete different place, which is something that I have seen over and over in our relationship, that he may not like something, and then he goes, suddenly he's he he can't see it. But what happened is that there seemed to be some kind of overwhelm that takes place on the inside, and then then it's like as if his thoughts take over, they they go completely somewhere else, and then his emotions are somewhere else, and then his behavior is coming from there, which really disrupts that space between us. So that day I was like, okay, you know what? Let's pause. I'm just gonna remove myself till you go get yourself together because I don't know what happened.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

So let me just catch up with that just to draw clarity in that is in that meeting, there was this feeling of pressure rising up. There was a feeling of like, let's do these videos by the end of July, let's have the book by the end of the year. And so, due to a limited belief and just this feeling of not enough time, or can that be actually done in this time-limited belief? I started to feel a little more pressure, I started to feel overwhelmed, I started to feel anxious because it just seemed like it was a lot within a short period of time. All again, a limited belief that then started to stir this feeling of discomfort. That discomfort started to rise through me. And as honey was getting more exciting and more excited, I was actually just aware. Well, that feeling started to grow, and I didn't choose to stop at that moment to see that that pressure and that overwhelming feeling that was rising. I did not choose to communicate that because it was like I didn't want to communicate something that may cause a conflict due to the old limited belief or old pattern of people pleasing, avoiding conflict, that I just kept it in, kept it in until honey was like, Oh, aren't you excited? Don't you want to do this? And I was kind of like almost in that freeze and fawn of like seeing it's coming over me, not knowing how to communicate it, but realizing it was moving through, that it actually started to bubble up, bubble up, bubble up, then feeling agitation, then feeling stress, and then feeling frustration of not knowing how to communicate it in a way that wouldn't cause disruption. So that was happening as honey had the beautiful ideas, incredible areas that was being displayed, there was a whole other energy moving within myself.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

Which can happen in our relationship. So we were okay with that. So we paused, Michael Wynn got himself like stri a little bit more strict. But what happened in that space that I wasn't aware of, and this is the cycle that had been taking place, then somehow Michael, that interpretation on the inside would kick into some beliefs and negative thoughts. Then he started, then he would, because he he's not able to catch it, he would then run with it. So then, so then it started affecting him. So the next day he was avoidance, and then he was then then completely withdrawn, acting from there, like as if I had done him, had done something so wrong. And meanwhile, I just presented the joy of, oh my gosh, wouldn't it be amazing if you have your book by the end of the year? So the reason why we're sharing this with you and why this is important, because that then starts that kind of behavior, while not being able to catch it, it starts kicking into further thoughts, then all kinds of other things, because a person is not in their clear state. So one of the biggest challenges for me had been had been whenever we would get into these moments like this, I would then want to areas that we were on the same page, just to clarify. So I would want to come and like try to more explain to Michael, try to sort of like literally help him see and save him. And the thing that I did very different, because I was in such a clear state within myself, and and I could see it clearly. I was not in that stress place, I wasn't in any of that. I was like the joy and excitement what could take place. I just inside of me, I was like, God Almighty, this is not my battle. This is Michael's battle. He's gone in this place again. You have to take care of him. I'm gonna literally hand you Michael, and I trust you'll be able to reach him. I know he's capable, he just has to find this confidence inside of him. I don't know how to do it for him. I have done it all in attempting to help him see, but I just can't do it anymore. This isn't mine anymore, and being able to be really in truth with that, in ease with that, I I just honored it and I chose not to get upset over it, nothing. And this was a big shift inside of me because I just knew this is not my battle anymore, and somehow Michael's interpretation is kicked in again.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

And so as she was choosing not to join the battle, I went the opposite way and created a battle of, as Honey says, once the let's just say, pain, old wound, childhood reaction kicks in, then all of a sudden it opens up a door for all of these beliefs that are not true.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

And I didn't catch them because all of a sudden it felt like, oh, she didn't care, oh she doesn't value, oh she doesn't because you wanted once I was saying you wanted to wrestle with me like you've done all this time, but because I didn't, you had to go sweat.

SPEAKER_02 16:33

We pull them down and wrestle to we can't.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

But you wanted to go because I was like, I I I just can't do this anymore. Right.

When Inner Child Stories Take Over

SPEAKER_01 16:39

So then on the inside, you went into your own battle. That's what I want to say.

SPEAKER_02 16:43

You went, you finally went to your battle. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

And the battle got bigger because you couldn't battle it with me. It grows so crazy.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

So I battled it out in my own head, and I'll tell you, for anyone that knows like the Royal Rumble inside of you, it's amazing how many intruders, how many thoughts, how many pieces like a cobweb that you're stuck into because right when one thought comes in, it grows into another, and before you know it, you're like battling all these areas, and they all come from what I found was abandonment, rejection, betrayal. When it was just a reaction from my reaction that I took and felt like it was unkind, not compassionate, empathetic, and then I ran with it. And what was so interesting about it is it took me in a level where I felt like I was regressing and not moving forward. Well, what I meant by regressing, it took me into okay, well, she did this wrong. I'm just gonna take my own space so I can focus on myself.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

So by doing that And I'm gonna ignore her, and I'm gonna be rude to her, and I'm gonna like I wasn't rude, I was I was creating space.

SPEAKER_02 17:55

I chose to be. But you were avoiding and like the classic so I so I chose old behaviors of okay, let me focus on myself to recalibrate, let me go to the gym, let me go to nature, but I was not being respectful and communicating. I was choosing not to be as loving. Basically, I was closing my heart down due to feeling that pain. And I gave what I really see the depth of in reflection, I gave the driving wheel to the pain. And the pain of the emotions started to take the wheel where no longer was Michael in his God-sent, God self, pure, true state of awareness driving the car. It was like my five-year-old having like a shit fit because it was literally just feeling like all of these old thoughts coming in that were just blaming, shaming, guilting. Now, obviously, I wasn't saying them out loud like I've done in the past. This stage.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

Yeah, before. So we're just let's just be clear with that. Because before Michael would from that place imagine, he would just project. Oh my god, what just happened? Oh, sorry about that. You're still here.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

Sorry, something just oh my gosh, it we're like, wait, what happened? Did the meeting go noise? We still what is going on? It's okay, it's just popping up on you. It's okay.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

We're still working on the case. We're still recording, okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:24

Okay, so before from all of that, he would like come as a like a projection and like attack from that because he was so uncomfortable in himself, and I had to like face all of that in the world. I was lost in the pain of emotions right there, and because of that, what but what I'm trying to say, he he this is this was before he would just battle that so much towards me, but I had to I it took me so long to find strength to say this is not acceptable, you have to take it outside. This is not we worked through that for a few years, so he's not doing that anymore, which is amazing.

SPEAKER_02 20:01

Which is the refinement of it not happening externally, yeah. So I've learned not to communicate outwardly in that practice, but then internally the same battle was happening. So I was fighting against her in my head, and it was like a war in there because all I could feel is like, gosh, I didn't do anything wrong. Once I knew the ego was involved, dissent, defense, justification, explanation. How many guys normally do that when they get caught in? Most people don't realize that internal battle can be so much more worse than the external because we can be our worst enemies. So I just allowed that to keep ruminating and processing so that the victim, the defeat, could continue to let this loop go, even though underneath I didn't want to feel this way. I didn't I wanted resolution as quick as possible, but somewhere I wasn't allowing my true self, my god self, my conscious self, take the wheel because I was already looped, and most important, lost in that way. Where that pain felt so heavy, and I'm sure many of you felt this, where the pain feels so heavy, and you spoke about this morning where it's like but hold on, wait one second.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

This is very important, just for you listeners to understand, all of this happened because I said this it's just what the first wasn't saying. It was the 12 videos in a month, and the book that was the so that so so all of this is because from a joy place, I was like, we can do 10 videos in a month to release it for Jul for November for our anniversary, and wouldn't you be excited for a year for your book? So it's not like in it's it's just an it's just an idea, just an idea. So could Could you imagine? Like all of this happened because he didn't like the idea somewhere in him. I felt pressured. The pressure that he felt that he couldn't communicate triggered all of this battlefield inside of him. Because just for speaking of the teachings of it.

SPEAKER_02 22:21

And I want to also share with you, it was also due that pressure and overwhelming it. So then when I communicated it, not in the most great way, then that created a reaction, not in the most great way, then created an aspect within me where I got upset all over the reaction of internally feeling pressured, overwhelmed, to the limit to believe that there's not enough time to do that. So I just want to clarify that.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

Thank you. So so what I want to share about this is that within this case, I removed myself very respectfully, honorably, seeing, being able to see Michael suddenly something snapped. Suddenly he's not in the right place. I was like, you know what, we're gonna pause here. I'm just gonna, you know, I'm gonna respectfully remove myself because just you need a minute to yourself. And he didn't like that either. Because when something when somebody withdraw of love, when he he suddenly be even it's so respectfully shared, but because he's already in it, then the interpretation comes from the top.

SPEAKER_02 23:35

My chicken feathers in my chest was puffy.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

That's it. So then, so as a result of it, so he's dealing with all that inner battle, all of that. So, what I want to share from this point is because last night and today we've had conversations, but even last night, yesterday, let's backtrack it too. So during this time, Michael is going through his thing. My meanwhile, my focus is okay, the 100th episode podcast is coming out. Let me look at the location. I'm inside setting up the agentec AIs. Oh my god, this is amazing. Possibility. Wow, this is amazing. Look at this, we can do this, we can do this. Is great. We can serve God Almighty greater. So I'm just thriving in this incredible place. Michael's mom ends up also being sick during this time. So he goes, takes care of her. So then he's also more exhausted along the way and not being able to catch up with his stuff. So then suddenly he's inside all of this within it. And what happened was on the resolution.

SPEAKER_02 24:43

As the time expanded, it felt like the no resolutions. So obviously, when that resolution is just through good communication, we're working through things as a beautiful mannership as couple, couple, partner, partner, but not the clarity or the closure of what happened, it was still bubbling within.

SPEAKER_01 25:01

Right. So he wanted to talk, but sometimes what happens, Michael, like in this case, Michael wants to come talk, but he only wants to express what's happening like in him, but he has absolutely no interest in what's happening on the other side. So, so and that's still coming not from a neutral place, a true reflection place, any of that. So, what what what we want to share is what what took place that made a shift was this and breaking the cycles.

SPEAKER_02 25:32

I just want to correct. I do have interest, but I'm not prepared sometimes to hear the angry honey that when I come and ask you how you're doing, I'm hoping it's gonna be something nice. So I am interested.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

It's fair to say angry, honey. We came to ask, and I was like, No, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

I wasn't prepared in how you would choose to react, but it's my own responsibility. It doesn't matter if you're angry or not, however, it comes, I need to feel like I need to listen.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

Because when you came to speak, I wasn't angry. I wanted to, you wanted to see how it is, and I wanted to start with the question.

SPEAKER_02 26:14

But you weren't you weren't you asked me, you're not gonna like this. This is confusing.

SPEAKER_01 26:18

I said I said I was very calm. I was like, I don't think you're gonna like what I want to say, but I'm gonna set and then then you obviously didn't want to hear anything that I had to say.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

Because I'm not gonna like it all.

SPEAKER_01 26:39

Yeah, and I wasn't angry, I wasn't any of that. So just for clarity purposes. So let's move forward. What was the change that took place? The change that took place, one of the things that I really wanted Michael to understand, but I knew I couldn't do it for him. It was for him to have that understanding with God because I've I've shared the clarity of what I'm actually applying in myself. That clarity where I'm holding myself responsible and going through the catching it, being able to silence that voice of the defeat inside, claiming God Almighty's truth in me instead, and shifting my shifting my way, shifting my beliefs. So my thoughts can be different, my emotions can be different. So I'm not in inside this battle. So from that place, there's been several times sharing it with Michael, but Michael couldn't quite catch it. So this weekend, you know, he was drowning in it even more. So then on Sunday he asked me, he's like, Can we talk? I said, I was like, you know, I can't tonight. He wanted to talk because I what I had planned. So he took that in a negative way.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

I just share when I heard that once again the child in me was like, she's rejecting me, she doesn't want to hear what I said, and I had a very, very like just say emotional morning, releasing a lot of sadness. So I could still feel I was in that vulnerable, raw state. So of course, when I said that, it then brought up more of a trigger of like she doesn't care, she doesn't want to hear, she doesn't, it's I'm not important. All those just came springing back up because I wasn't in a fully aligned state. I was more in an emotional state, which I allowed once again the emotional body to take the driving wheel and to understand how important it is when to speak and ask, come from aligned space, not from a charged or triggered area. Even if you're coming out of, let's just say, some deep processing or journaling, that may not be the right time.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

So, of course, when I heard that, it was another like, oh, because he was already in it and he'd already fed it. We have to understand when we're feeding these parts of ourselves, it's become bigger and it's consumed us. So anything anybody else said, if if because the person on the inside is so uncomfortable, if their need isn't being met, it's gonna grow even bigger.

SPEAKER_02 29:16

It was like a child, which I could see with we spoke about this in the kitchen recently, just before the podcast, of how it was a childlike behavior of not getting the attention or the need being met. So as a child of mine didn't have that need being met, all of a sudden it then, you know, wanted to retract more. Okay, well, I'm not gonna be here, I'm gonna go to my mom's, yada yada. I'm gonna, you know, then separate even greater because that was the child protecting, defending, and finding a way just to move out of that situation as quick as possible, but in a very immature way, in a way that doesn't serve who I am and what has really been done many times when that neediness within is not getting attention. And I feel many of us have sh have gone through that, especially men that may have had, you know, mothers that have given them a lot, or there's been a lot of enablement within growing up, or areas where if we didn't get what we won, what would happen? So that was demonstrated on Sunday.

SPEAKER_01 30:14

Yes. So what Michael is saying when he asked me, because I had planned to go, I'd already planned to go visit four locations for our upcoming podcast episode, podcast celebration, and also I had to record our podcast.

The Moment Truth Breaks The Spell

SPEAKER_01 30:32

So I was very, I had a busy day. So I'm in my let's say mature adult body, the maturity of life handling it, and then here it comes this sort of like a tantrum child behavior that didn't like it and wants to go nuts with it. So I found myself, okay, here he is again. But I went right away in the room and I held Michael's hand. I said, Michael, you are not acting right because this happens. Sometimes we all have these wounds inside of us that it has consumed us. So I held his hand. I said, God Almighty is with you. You're not acting right, you gotta snap out of this. Here it is, like you have been feeding, I don't know what thoughts, what beliefs you've been feeding yourself, they're not true. Nobody's abandoned. I gotta go take care of this. You didn't even allow me to tell you I can't do it today because of this, but I can do it tomorrow, so I can sit and have this space to talk to you.

SPEAKER_02 31:32

So and I felt when she grabbed my hands, like someone that's like awaking out of their sadness, she left and I was like, Wow.

SPEAKER_01 31:42

Not that what I'm saying, when I grab hand, not not holding his hand. I just I I grabbed his hand to get his attention.

SPEAKER_02 31:50

You didn't grab and force. No, no, no, no. You grabbed my wrists to get my attention out of love, yeah, like in a way that you were like Michael, not like force or anything.

SPEAKER_00 32:02

Yeah, because I want the audience to know not like, okay, grab your hand. No.

SPEAKER_02 32:11

No. She grabbed my arms, and then it was like as soon as she spoke her truth, that truth pierced my heart, and it allowed me to like shine this wake up that all of a sudden when she left, I sat on the massage table, like a piercing level of awareness came through of like, wow, she's right. It like felt like it went through my emotional body, mental body, up into the spiritual, connecting me to God's essence, and was like, this is the truth.

SPEAKER_01 32:46

And as soon as I feel like so that I spoke God through, I was like, Michael, I was like, Michael, where are you? Like, get yourself together. God Almighty loves you. What are you doing? I was battling. I was battling. Like, I mean, it was like he was it was crazy because from there, it's like all these that like all the craziness off the chart. And this is the part I was like, I I just it's not my battle. I just can't do it.

SPEAKER_02 33:13

It's interesting when the battle begins, how those little intruders or mother fliers come in to want to take over the ship and try to destroy you and sink it as quick as possible. And as it's sinking, it's trying to find every doubt, every area you don't know.

SPEAKER_01 33:33

But it's trying to sink the other person too.

SPEAKER_02 33:35

Let's just say the ship, it's trying to destroy the world.

SPEAKER_00 33:39

It's like it's like I'm like, I'm gonna go have lunch with myself. I'm gonna look at it. I'm an army ghost, I'm looking at these four beautiful okay. We have a podcast celebration coming up, it's amazing, hundredth episode. Where is he? Where am I? I'm like a blissful, by the way. Let me let me just tell you all too. In the midst of this, let me just tell you, I had my highest paying client pay, and then on top of it, you know, my son that had borrowed money for me to pay his car, he paid and he paid over that. I have like I'm totally riding the bliss, all these wonderful things. And me, meanwhile, my colleague is in this complete other place.

SPEAKER_02 34:17

I was in Armageddon, the world was ending, and everything was effed. And I just all I wanted to do was just battle it to the point that it was just trying to get out, and then as soon as like you shared your godly truth, it was like the light came in, and I'm like, okay, that's truth. And then as soon as I heard the truth, then it just inspired me to say, okay, I need to now take this out and go to the place I know that can heal that. And I went straight into nature, straight into the paddle board, straight into areas that would help me regain the awareness of what was coming through because I was recognizing the battle within me was battling her, battling the relationship, and whatever was coming through, especially in the past, it was rejecting because all it wanted to do like a child was scream, yell inside. I mean, not at honey, and just create more of a problem that literally was over, overwhelmed pressure and reaction that the child didn't like inside. And that just kept building through until it was like silencing that by then going out and then finding what I love most is connecting with nature and the elements to help bring that into alignment.

The Candle Practice For Real Listening

SPEAKER_01 35:31

So, where we are with this, what we want to share with you is this day before yesterday, I could tell, okay, we're in this better place, but we need to speak through. So when I wanted to head out, take care of some things, Michael was speaking, and I could tell, like his language is still coming from limiting beliefs and like the thought. So I was like, Michael, let's go ahead and do this. Now we bought a candle, we sit in the living room. I'm like, okay, Michael, I'm just gonna get super quiet. I want you to talk, just talk it all out, speak it all out from what was happening inside of you.

SPEAKER_02 36:10

So I shared everything, and it was so interesting what I was sharing that it came from what honey actually caught me after sharing 20 minutes.

SPEAKER_01 36:20

Yeah, so I got this for for your purposes. If you're gonna do this with your partner, put a candle, and I got completely quiet. I didn't say a single word. I let Michael talk for 15 to 20, probably 25 minutes. It was something like that. It was a very long time.

SPEAKER_02 36:36

And he just I was sharing the emotional hurt, the perspective from the pain body, the limitation of what was being shown. And what was so crazy about it is after expressing everything, honey turned to me and says, Do you realize everything you spoke about came from a limited belief? And I looked at her, and then she basically reflected, but then went into what happened, which was the truth.

SPEAKER_01 37:02

No, no, that's so so what happened was after he finished that, I paused, and then it was like my turn to speak. So I I just opened up, I was like, Michael, are you aware? I wanted to see if he had an awareness. Are you aware how many things you spoke from complete limiting beliefs? And he looked at me. I said, just pause here. So then I said, I said, like, let me now share from my my end what is happening, what was happening. And as I was sharing it, as Michael was seeing it, it was interesting. I was aware he's seeing he was seeing me through a lens that he hadn't seen because his whole lens was so covered with all that battlefield. And like he saw, like, oh my god, like I was completely irrational. I was completely like not even saying, like, like, where was I? Where was this? Like, so at the end of it, what the so he gave me like 10-15 minutes to talk to speak through and also speak truth, just speak truth, not defending that there's no defending. Like, here's here's what's happening. And what was amazing was at the end, it's like as if I saw Michael as if like like literally a veil was lifted over his eyes and over him. And it was so what was happening, what happened now? Because it's suddenly like you saw something.

SPEAKER_02 38:36

So I just want to regress. First of all, thank you, honey, for taking the time because we were planning to meet that night. And so she's like, no, no, no, let's sit down now. And for those couples, those individuals listening, I cannot express the importance of finding a sacred space, lighting a candle, sitting in front of each other, and making the boundary and rule that one person speaks and another person listens without interruption, without any type of defense, just purely listening. Then when that person is done, they switch roles and they do the exact same thing. And what I was aware of is when I first expressed, it was literally all the pain that was being expressed out because somewhere the inner child just wanted to be heard. It just wanted to be supported. But it was coming from the inner child. It was coming from the lack, limitation, the limited belief of what that child felt. You mean your inner child. My inner child, yes. And so as that was happening, it was like allowing me to then feel heard, feel expressed. She still loves me because the inner child's like, she doesn't love me, she's done, da-da-da. I mean, the inner child was thinking, you know, and end the world. Let's just flush everything down the toilet because, you know, the this is this is gone, or you know, it's it's we're losing. And so all these thoughts are happening within. And it's like the battles, you know, it's the Royal Rumble. So as soon as that was expressed, and honey like lit the truth of like, well, that's all I'm to believe. Then I started hearing her, it was like when she said the veil was lifted, the pain within myself felt like it released because all it wanted to be was hurt. And as soon as the pain lifted, it was like the clarity of the truth was finally shown, and all that pain was an illusion of the truth. Like the pain took my the story that I was saying and squished it in such a limited perspective that it was the furthest away of what was happening in my head.

SPEAKER_01 40:40

Because of what you're saying, because it's the story we make up in ourselves through the when we are not when we are not in our right place. Right?

SPEAKER_02 40:50

Yes, and when the pain is driving every thought, every emotion action is going through the pain, the filter of all those limited beliefs, that it is literally looking out of a one eye half open, that it's barely getting the full truth. So that was happening within me. It literally felt like the pain released, and then I could literally hear what was happening. And as Honey expressed it, the clarity was so strong, the truth was so aware and real that I was like, wow. And it was like light bulbs, like all of a sudden it was like sparks going off of like, that's where this came from, that's where this came from. So all the pieces started to align in a way that felt like I could actually see within myself for the first time of what was happening through a new lens. And that new lens gave greater clarity, it gave me greater ability to state the accountability, the ownership. And I feel one thing that honey's really brought forward is really the importance to take the authority of knowing when when one is not in the place, it's not about right or wrong, but when one is in the wrong of like in pain, in hurt, unconscious, that not to give authority to that version of yourself and let that lead the way, to give the authority of the true God-given nature that you are, and that's not in a state of anger, pain, stress, worry. That's in a state of joy, happiness, and peace. If I'm giving all that story to those densities, it's the furthest away from the truth. And what honey allowed the opportunity, which I bless you and I thank you so deeply, to give the opportunity to express your truth in a place I could be heard to allow that healing to happen instantly. Like I felt that healing happen because it was like she heard me, it wasn't the full truth. There were some parts that I felt, but it was coming from a limited body of pain. And she got to share everything from a lens of clarity in alignment while I was still coming out of the ashes, battling what was happening through me. So thank you, honey.

SPEAKER_01 43:11

So, what what I want to share around this that's

Why Blessings Feel Hard To Receive

SPEAKER_01 43:15

important. Sometimes in partnership, this happens where we all go through things, right? When if you are in a real clear place, you're grounded, you're aligned with God, you're grounded in that truth. It's so important for you to remain there. Number one, especially, like, for example, remember, all of this happened because I've out of joy. We're in a business meeting, Michael and I for what's gonna happen in the next six months. Like, let's plan this out, like let's this, this, it's all joy, but he can't handle the joy. Why? So this showed up for Michael to really see what was happening there because his capacity to experience that joy could not be experienced, but within me could experience. Why? Because inside of him, all of these things were blocking the way. So, why we're sharing this particular episode with you is this God Almighty has all these beautiful things planned out for us. We pray for them, we've received them, we want to experience them. Well, we can't experience them. Why? Because our capacity to experience them is not open. Why? Because it's covered on the inside by these rejections, hurts, disappointment, pains, frustrations, stresses, all of these. They're blocking the way. So what happens is that when a new opportunity of amazing is presented, instead of the person getting excited to want to go in that direction, they close off. And what underneath, not only do they close off, then from their limiting belief that's close them off, start thinking and then start producing the emotions where they start feeling. If anything, they go the opposite way. And and so there's they're inside this internal mess that's taking place. So God's blessing can come in because in order for that capacity to hold more, more of goodness of life to take happen, the person has to feel confident. But if they're feeling rejected and like avoided or all of this, that's going to affect their confidence. So then there, so then there's it's insecurity versus confidence on the inside.

SPEAKER_02 45:43

Because all the insecurities are coming up, that's not allowing the pure joy essence. It's like the containers are already filled with all of those areas that's giving pure attention and focus and not allowing those others to fully embody.

SPEAKER_01 45:56

Well, it can't come in. It's like it's like bottleneck, it can't come in because it's already filled and maxed out with all these debris of let's just call it trash. It's in the inside. It can't come in. So it's pains of the past, hurt of the past, rejection of our past. That has nothing to do with that. We're talking about something joyful, amazing, but can't receive it. So then what else happens? So the confidence is not there, so then the clarity is not there. So if confidence is not there, clarity is not there, what else is not there? Obviously, the consciousness is not there, right? It's not a clear conscious. What else is happening there? Then the capability is not there. You see, so like there's all these things that are tied to this, can't be released because it's covered completely by not just the physical body is covered with it, the emotional body is hovering the physical body, the mental body is covering, and the belief is what's holding it. Now, when we introduce the presence of God Almighty to this, that God Almighty come into this, what happens? All of these gets disabled. And as it gets disabled, what one of the things that happens is that the person is then held with the presence of God. So then that safety is returned. So if that safety is returned, is security. So then what happens? It's like, wait a minute, the awareness is coming in, so then the consciousness is rising, so then there's capability to be able to take charge of this. And that was the thing. I was like, Michael, listen, it's so important. I learned, I learned to take charge my with my awareness to take charge if an insecurity shows up with me to tell it no, to actually challenge it. No, that is not true. Here is God Almighty, God Almighty is in me, God Almighty is is is handling this. So challenging that challenging it so it doesn't kick into these limiting beliefs that produces the thoughts, that produces the emotions. It's so important to take charge and authority because that's where capability comes. So then that raises the confidence. And as this raises the confidence, then it shows the capability and that opens up to capacity. Otherwise, it shuts everything down.

SPEAKER_02 48:34

And so beautiful as you said that, honey, because I feel one of the greatest lessons learned, especially from men and in this mental body, is when the pain is so prevalent, it takes over the mental body where it disconnects us from our God-given essence. And that mental body within me, I overthink, I overdwell, I over-process, and then underneath that's squishing the emotional body in ways where it contracts my emotions from a way where I can't speak from my heart, where I'm not open to my, you know, openness of compassion, empathy toward myself because the mental body is just putting more pressure, more pressure. And all of a sudden, I'm seeing that within me there's just this closure, contraction, and limitation.

SPEAKER_01 49:23

But you're going to the heavy emotions. Right. The emotion, the emotions everywhere, but instead of the light-hearted emotions, you're going to the heavy.

SPEAKER_02 49:32

Because all because they start drowning. Because the mental body is having this clench into it. And so, you know, what you said so beautiful this morning is to go through the mental body, like, you know, push through it, go through it into the spiritual nature, and even like what we all know is going directly to God. And really, what you know, we've said, you know, what does God say about you? What does God say about this? And so coming directly to the city.

SPEAKER_01 49:57

No, so let's just correct what I said, what I shared with you for the or for our listeners.

Inviting God Almighty To Lead

SPEAKER_01 50:02

What I said to Michael is what I've been applying. When I'm finding myself where my mental body is trying to sort of dominate, dominate me this in this vessel, I'm very aware of it because I don't, first of all, I don't feel good on the inside the body. That's how I know it's trying to dominate me. Because when I'm aligned with God Almighty, my body's in ease. That's the first clue I know. Somehow the mental body is trying to protect me, and it's it's like it has the walls up or the guards up, and my body isn't relaxed. That's how I know. So, in order for the mental body of mine not to dominate me, if I try to do it on my own, I'm going into battlefield. So, one of the things I learned, I go straight to God Almighty. And when I go straight big to God Almighty and I release my voice, I always say, God Almighty, I'm here with you. So, what happens? My mental body starts to retract, and there's suddenly this openness inside of me because the mental body cannot stand in the presence of God Almighty when I call it in. That ginormous presence responds to me. So, what happens then? It cannot control my thoughts, it cannot control my beliefs, it can't control my emotions because I have taken charge of it by the presence of God Almighty that is the true one in charge. So that I found that to be so amazing, and that's what that's what changed inside of me. Now, now it's been several months now that I'm operating in this way, and I feel so much more ease in me, so much more peace in me, because I was able to actually take authority instead of my emotional, mental body belief have authority over me.

SPEAKER_02 52:12

And why do we say all this? Because honestly, we're all gonna go through triggers, we're all gonna go through pain, we're all gonna go through these situations and to draw that greater awareness to them, to draw the forgiveness, the compassion, the empathy, that we're all on this journey, that these steps, these methods, these areas of connecting to God Almighty, to recognizing the emotional, mental, physical, spiritual body, to seeing the patterns that when the ego is flared up, why the child comes up and how the reactions are coming, and what we spoke about early, detaching old behavior so that the attachment doesn't keep leading. It's important for us to be our greatest God version that we are here to be. And some days we're amazing at it. Other days, like myself, I fall flat on my feet and to take that ownership, to take that accountability and take that stride that sometimes we have to get so sick of it. It has to happen so often that it's like, okay, now I'm making a stop because it's happened for too long. And these conversations, which I'm grateful for, we get to share this in the truth, authenticity, and the realness, because the more we go through that, the more we're actually seeing the gold nuggets of wisdom that not only can be applied within us, but for many that can be going through say these same similar positions.

SPEAKER_01 53:39

So, this this podcast, one of the reasons for it is as we're sharing this, you see, I have no shame sharing this. Do you have any shame sharing this? Not at all. No. Why? Because we recognize our relationship is a relationship of purpose. God Almighty has brought us together so that we can go through life experiences individually, and our relationship goes through it. And when we go through it, there is information that has been brought up that becomes the real teacher. And it is through that lens that we can then speak from when we have applied it. So, in this case, for example, a few months earlier, I began to truly apply this within myself. And while I'm seeing it work, then I'm bringing it to Michael's attention to apply, apply this, but you gotta apply it not from yourself, you've got to apply it with the presence of God Almighty. Well, it's not just feeling it. Just let me let me correct it. A lot of people use the word God, but they have no true connection with God. They use the word, let's say God might, but it's almost like they put it like as a universal term, with all the respect. That's not what I'm speaking of. I'm speaking from the lens of complete conviction, complete truth. When I speak, when I say the word God Almighty, I'm speaking to the one that created all creation, I'm speaking to that power, that presence that has created universes, multiverses, planets, stars, galaxies. I'm speaking to that. So when I say God Almighty, come into me, come into my body, take over my body, take over these thoughts, that's where I'm speaking from. And that's why when from that place I speak to my code, it responds because it's not about me, it's about that truth that also created him, that truth that's created you. So if you are going to utilize what we just shared for your life, if you're going through this, then speak with authority to that truth so that truth can respond to you from inside out. Because if you just say, God, like God is not a weak God with all the respect, God Almighty is a supernatural, a remarkable presence. And I have certainly experienced that. I've experienced that what in the midst of a fatal car crash. I know what that presence is. So whenever I speak to that, I lean on that, it responds, it lifts me out of that hole and it makes me into wholeness. So that's where I'm coming from. And the reason why we're sharing this with you so that we can communicate, Michael and I are in also the working, the works. God Almighty is not finished with us, God Almighty is continue with us. There are areas that we have totally mastered it, and it's amazing. And then there are other areas that we're in the work of mastering, and that's the presence of God Almighty that's that is so loving because it's not happening to us, it is truly happening for us. Why? For us to be able to handle this prepares us for what's next. That's the clarity that I have.

SPEAKER_02 57:15

And that's very powerful words. Thank you, honey. In regards to what essential alchemy in our association is, it's about embodiment and alignment to our God Almighty Nature. And part of that embodiment is fully feeling it. So I love how there's there's moments where when it's being stated, can you feel it? Can you embody it?

SPEAKER_01 57:37

But it's not just feel it, but feeling it in the body. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. No, because you said feeling it.

SPEAKER_02 57:43

But feeling it I'm saying from the embodiment, feeling it within yourself.

SPEAKER_01 57:47

You have to feel it. May I correct that?

SPEAKER_02 57:50

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 57:51

Without you, without you. No, no, no. So a lot of times we use the word feeling it, but we don't have an understanding what that is. When I say you gotta feel that presence in your body on the inside.

SPEAKER_02 58:05

That's what I was that's where that's where I was going.

unknown 58:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 58:08

Because I I couldn't tell yours because you're just saying feeling it.

SPEAKER_02 58:10

It's like uh because I said embodiment. Embodiment means feeling it within. So I was drawing the connection with embodiment and feeling it. And so that's the importance of when doing this work, how we not only align, but we embody and we feel it. And that is what's so good about all of this because this can be applicable, used, and we've done many different types of trainings, we've done many different types of teachings on emotional mastery, on the thoughts, the limited beliefs that can be easily accessed as.

SPEAKER_01 58:43

But

Action Steps For The Next Trigger

SPEAKER_01 58:44

if somebody asks, but Michael, one second. If somebody asked Michael, for example, here's a belief, thought, emotion, self-mastery we taught, right? Right, how come you didn't catch it? What would you say to that?

SPEAKER_02 58:55

I would say I didn't catch it because I was Because it can happen to all of us. Yeah, because I was because there are old wounds that are still attached to a reaction that I'm not bringing greater awareness and observation fast enough to allow that to take over. Meaning when something comes up, it's my responsibility and my discipline to catch it before it chooses to take over. That moment I didn't choose to not only catch it, but I didn't choose to communicate it. And I feel it takes mad responsibility, mad discipline, and the commitment that even when it feels uncomfortable to communicate it, even when things are starting to arise to draw greater awareness, and most important to look at old habits and behaviors that have come up to see if you can stop them immediately, so that the old egoic nature where childhood wounds can just come up and be thrown out to make a stop. I didn't catch it because I didn't see the I didn't communicate that when it came up or drew greater awareness within myself.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:05

Yeah, thank you for that. Because what's important when we have the reflection, we can see what area worked, what area did not work, and the application of it. The only thing that I want to also leave you all with, this is very important. Your feeling, your human feelings are, it's important your human is gonna have the feelings, but that's not what I'm speaking here. When I'm speaking about to feel God's presence is not your human feeling, you gotta feel God's presence into your body, so it is living in your body, that's the embodiment, because that is a complete different experience, so it's not the feelings of your human, because your human throughout the day is gonna have so many different feelings. That's not it, but the truth of God Almighty is one presence that is felt as a living presence inside of you. That's a huge distinction. So I wanted to put that there because when you speak to it, it's important to have that awareness and the inside so it can lift you out of those holes that you walk into sometimes that is within us. And this is all of us, we all have these areas that we are we are instead of trying to fix it, instead of trying to really heal it, instead of all of that, we allow God Almighty to come into it and fill it with with God Almighty's love and God Almighty's healing that knows how to bring it into wholeness. That's the whole point of this. And there's only, you know, it's important to know there's nothing wrong with you. We all have gone through life experience where we've been hurt, we've been disappointed, we're carrying pains, it's stored in our bodies, so life circumstance is gonna show up where these are gonna come up, and it's important to handle them maturely. If you've been handling it with your immature childish self, you can see it's not working. So you have to stop and be like, I'm gonna start handling this with my God Almighty presence, and that's how you start including God Almighty into your life and being able to create the change in you so your capacity changes, your capability changes, your confidence changes, and you feel much better about yourself, and you can truly live your purpose and fulfill your premise.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:56

Thank you, honey. The greatest thing about today is the awareness that can be brought through all of this in the applicable, tangent ways that we not only live it, we explain it and we share it. So thank you all for joining us today. And what we always do is just bringing this to the fullness of its expression, each and every one of us.

Takeaways And Sharing The Message

SPEAKER_01 1:03:17

Exactly. And let us know what landed with you, and if you're gonna go through you, you go through this in your life experience, just know it's okay. And also honor yourself. If one is not, what are the takeaways? If one is not in the right state, don't go in a battlefield with them. Let them let them go in their own inner battlefield, withdraw yourself and also protect yourself, put some healthy boundaries because when they're there, they're not even realizing how they're behaving. And once they're out of it, then help them become aware what that behavior was. What else?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:55

And take the time to reflect, take the time to journal, take the time to align, and most important, take the time when you speak to be in a very present situation.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:05

And what about actionable steps? So, what would you say from this? What are your actionable steps? Because it has to be followed by actionable steps.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:13

Well, the actionable steps is the next time it comes up again to take greater awareness, which I said earlier, is to scan the body, see what's being draught forward, be aware that as this energy is being brought up in the body, then to vocally communicate it, to say that there is discomfort to come up, and then choose. It's a decision of how to communicate. And then when communicating, see that it doesn't have to come from a place of pain or a place of distortion. It can come from a place of awareness. And I feel that is the actual steps. Most important, taking ownership, accountability, and taking authority of what's being brought forward so it doesn't have to happen again.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:53

That's beautiful. Well, thank you. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:56

Thank you both.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:57

Thank you, all of you. It's a raw real episode. Let us know how you enjoyed it. And if this benefited you, please share it with others because we're all gonna go through it.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:07

Much love and blessings.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:09

Okay, bye bye, everyone.